We Could Love
by WeAllBreakTheSame
Summary: AU: Clary has been sent from institute to institute her whole life to keep her away from Valentine. The newest institute is in New York City and she is happy to be re-united with the Lightwoods and another familiar face that she'd never thought she'd see again. **WARNING: ALL THE SPOILERS* NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – AU: Clary has been sent from institute to institute her whole life to keep her away from Valentine. The newest institute is in New York City and she is happy to be re-united with the Lightwoods and another familiar face that she'd never thought she'd see again.  
**WARNING: City of Glass spoilers and possible City of Heavenly Fire spoilers****

**Hello and welcome to We Could Love! This is my newest Mortal Instruments fanfic, and my first with chapters! Also some great news: it's already complete, I just have to edit and pick chapters! I hope you enjoy this alternate story. **

**Disclaimer 1:**

- **Some background histories have changed**

- **Ages ranging 17-19 instead of 15-18**

- **I may have changed some shadow-hunter history and rules as well to make everything flow**

**Disclaimer 2:**

**The Mortal Instruments belongs only to the Queen, Ms. Cassandra Clare!**

It's all just embarrassing; shipping your own daughter off to a city she's never been to in order to keep her away from your kind's greatest threat… who is also her dad. However, I didn't want to sound like some spoiled, ungrateful brat, so I've gone willingly to the New York Institute. They were kind enough to let me stay there until I'm re-located again.

Brother Zachariah met me outside the airport and took me to the New York Institute; Silent Brothers style. I could've gone through a portal, but I like to drag out my alone time as much as I can.

I wish that my mom could have come too. We both worry about each other, and our safety against Valentine while we're apart. But I was ensured this was the best way to do it – keep us apart and without contact.

The people around me are only there to ensure my safety; I'm not to leave the institute without Silent Brother Permission – although it's quite unlikely I'll ever bother with that. The Clave knows the least of all; they never know which institute I might be in at any given time. I've had too many near-death experiences because of The Clave somehow giving away my location to Valentine, so The Silent Brothers are my highest authority instead.

Plus, The Clave doesn't actually know _why_ Valentine wants me in his ranks.

I know why, but I don't know _how_ I got to be like I am.

I'm not all that frightened by it. I'm a shadow-hunter. I'm brave. My tutors have been telling me just that my whole life. I don't really see what the whole fuss is really about.

The ride to the Institute is smooth and easy. Brother Zachariah has always been the easiest Silent Brother to be around, I've noticed. Although, he still gives me the creeps like the rest of them.

"What's the next step from here?" I ask him, already knowing the answer.

_You already know that, Clarissa_, he replies in my head.

I smirk at him. "Alright, fine, I was just making conversation. It's not every day you get to sit in the presence of Brother Zachariah."

_Clarissa._ It sounds scolding.

I reply, "its Clary," and then shut up.

We pull up to the gates and I jump off the carriage. Suddenly, Brother Zachariah is beside me, reaching for the gate.

"What are you doing?"

_Showing you in._

"Why?"

_To introduce you to the shadow-hunters in residence._ It almost sounds like a question.

I snort. "Don't worry, I'm fully capable. Thanks for the lift."

_But your safety-_

"Tell me, Silent Brother, do you foresee anything bad happening inside the New York Institute?" I ask in a mocking tone.

_Clarissa, it is my job to deliver you safely… and you know that is not how the Silent Brothers work._

I roll my eyes. "Then wait out here and if something's up, I'll scream."

I don't wait for a reply; I simply walk through the gates up to the large church doors. When the doors open for me I walk in and realize as I'm shutting them that I have not been followed. _Good, _I think_, I don't need anyone to babysit me._

I make my way to the elevator and cringe at how rickety it feels when I get on. When the doors open again, I find a welcoming committee.

A woman and a man stand in the front. They don't look very pleased, but the four kids behind them look giddy. I already know all their names; they're like my second family.

_Wait, four kids?_

I don't have enough time to think it through.

"Clary!" Isabelle shouts. She pushes around her parents, Robert and Maryse, and envelops me in a hug.

"Izzy!" I exclaim back, dropping my bags on the floor and embrace her back. "I missed you!"

"Diddo," she says, pulling away, still smiling.

"Maryse, Robert," I greet the Lightwoods with a nod. They still don't look very pleased to see me so I break off my smugness for a minute. "Thank you, both, for taking me in."

Maryse only gives a slight grimace. "You're welcome. How's Jocelyn been?"

I try my hardest to keep from rolling my eyes but it still happens. Maryse and my mother don't have the best friendship anymore. "She's fine. Safe and sound in Idris."

Maryse abruptly turns and walks away, Robert trailing behind her.

Izzy smacks my shoulder. "You always have to roll your eyes don't you?"

I pretend to be offended and look at her seriously. She looks back at me until we both start laughing. Then she hugs me again and I squeeze her back.

"It's been too long," she says.

"I know," I say. I pull away to find Alec beside me.

"Alec!" I say looking him up and down. He's grown a lot taller and muscular since I last saw the Lightwoods. It's been six years since, and we were in Idris; Max was only three. Of course I've talked to them, but I haven't seen them. "Wow, you've gotten tall."

"And you haven't grown at all," he says.

I hold my hands up in front of my face in fists. "Bring it, Lightwood. When did you last go demon hunting? I caught one just outside the airport."

"Don't talk about demons like they're frogs, Clary," Alec says.

I ignore the remark and get up on my toes to hug Alec. "Don't worry, I missed you too."

When I pull away I feel arms wrap around my waist. When I look down it's Max.

"Max!" I exclaim, milking it for the kid's sake. It's not that hard. "Look at you!"

"Hi Clary," he says, letting go and suddenly shy.

When I look up from him two familiar eyes meet mine and my heart stutters for a second. I had no idea he would be here, staying with the Lightwoods. This detail seems to have been left out, for who's sake, I'm not sure.

"If it isn't Jace Herondale," I say.

"Clarissa Morgenstern," he replies with a smirk on his face. "It's been a while."

I smirk back, not bothering to correct him. "Not that long."

"Wait, you two know each other?" Izzy asks from behind me.

"We go way back," Jace says, not taking his eyes off mine.

I step towards him and cross my arms over my chest. "Almost two years ago to be exact. It was quite the party."

"Good to see you." He looks me up and down and I feel the blush threatening on my face.

Now I look him up and down. "You too." And then I turn away to find Izzy and Alec gaping at us.

I grab one of my bags and look at Isabelle. "Help me take these to my room."

She grabs my other bag and quickly follows me down the hallway.

When we get inside Izzy quickly shuts the door behind her and throws the bag on the bed. I start opening them up and putting things away when she bursts.

"When did you hook up with Jace Herondale?!"

"The whole world didn't hear you, Iz, say that a little louder," I reply, her question leaving me unfazed.

"Seriously, Clary, when were you going to tell me? You know he's Alec's _parabatai_, right?"

"I wasn't going to tell you cause it's not a big deal. I knew Alec had a _parabatai_, but I didn't know it was Jace Herondale."

"When?" she asks again.

"About two years ago at some banquet for skilled shadow-hunters. I recall the Lightwoods not being able to attend. My mom couldn't go either. Next thing you know, you hit it off with Jace Herondale," I reply like it was nothing. But it wasn't nothing; it was one good night.

Izzy is pouting when I look up after speaking. "I can't believe you didn't tell me."

I roll my eyes. "I told you I didn't think it was important."

I keep putting my clothes away and then come across my stack of shadow-hunter wear. "Hey, your training room here is huge right?"

Izzy nods.

"You up for a little action? I haven't been in a training room in forever."

I was right. The New York Institute does have a huge training room. Not as big as the one I grew up with in Idris, but close enough.

"Max is really the only one using this thing now," Iz says. "The other three of us are always out."

I nod. "Heard New York was getting over populated."

"What don't you hear? They tell you everything." Her voice sounds irritated.

"I don't ask them to, it just happens. They think telling me everything will keep me safe or something. Stupid if you ask me." I walk over the targets and grab five daggers off the wall. They all have a thick layer of dust on them. "Has Max not gotten to daggers yet?" I ask.

Izzy shakes her head slowly, and worry creeps onto her face.

My eyes widen in shock. Daggers are early in shadow-hunter training. I can't believe Max hasn't gotten to them yet. "What level is he?" I ask quietly.

Izzy sighs. "Five."

I jog to the edge of the big mat on the floor. It's a good fifteen feet away from the targets. I plant my feet in line with my shoulders, grip the dagger in my hand without too much pressure, aim, and then let my wrist flick. The dagger lands in the center dot on the target. "Why is he so behind?"

Izzy shrugs. "He's not picking it up, I guess. Dad's trying his best."

I shoot the rest of the daggers at the target quickly and then turn to her. "Has anyone else tried training him?"

Izzy laughs. "No. No one else here is qualified and Mom's always busy, so…"

"Jace is qualified."

When I say it, her eyebrows rise smugly and I regret saying it. "And how do you know that?"

"Because I'm qualified, so he probably is too."

"Is that a challenge?" a voice comes from behind me – Jace.

I turn to see him at the door. He's wearing track pants and a muscle shirt; typical training outfit. "It was just a guess. Maybe you're not qualified; it requires a lot of skill to train someone without hurting them."

"Fine." He steps onto the mat. "You tell me if I'm qualified to train."

"By the Angel, how did I know this would happen?" I hear Izzy mutter behind me. "You are aware of what will happen if you get hurt, right? _Clary?"_

I shrug as I step onto the mat, across from Jace. "Don't worry I have my stele."

"You're both impossible, you know that? I'm getting Alec."

Jace just laughs. "Impossible?"

I shrug at him. "She thinks I'm too reckless for my own good."

"Then that would make two of us. You know, I've wondered since the banquet which of us would win in a fight," he says.

I raise my eyebrows. The whole thing throws me off just long enough for him to punch me in the jaw. But I retaliate more quickly then he expects and kick his stomach, making him double over. Bad idea. It gives him the chance to grab leg and suddenly I'm not my back with no runes on my body to help my lungs gain the air knocked out of them.

I quickly use my knees to knock his legs out from under him and then he's in my previous situation. I roll over to him, still gasping and dig into his wrist with the heel of my hand, he cries in pain. He has obviously forgotten runes as well.

Then I'm on top of him, his arms pinned and my knees tight on either side of his waist. "This is oddly familiar," I remark smugly.

But then his legs are suddenly around my waist pushing me to the floor. I was smug too soon.

"Really?" he asks. His heels are digging into my rib cage painfully and I can hardly breathe. I'm sure they'll at least be bruised.

He's not being careful enough, my limbs are all free. My arms aren't long enough to do much damage, so I knee him in the back just as I hear the doors to the training room open. I don't bother to pay attention. As he's distracted by the pain in his back, I use my legs and feet to fling him off of me. He lands dangerously close to the hardwood floor off the mat.

"By the Angel, are you two _crazy_?" I hear Alec's voice, sharp and displeased.

We both don't respond as we're both gasping for air. I cough as though I was choking before and my hand flies to my ribs; they're definitely bruised.

"Clary, I thought you had your stele?"Isabelle says.

"I do-" I gasp.

"It's just – bruising," Jace finishes and I see him get up in the corner of my eye.

I straighten into a sitting position painfully and can't help but groan at the protest in my ribs. My mouth tastes funny and sour and I realize there is blood in my mouth. I quickly spit it out – it's from the punch I earned to my jaw.

Jace looks almost completely unscathed.

"What the hell Jace?" Alec says, and then he's beside me.

"Nothing's broken," I assure him. He's always worried too much.

"No but something's wrong. Lie back down, what's up with your ribs?" He pushes me back down so I'm on my back. I oblige because it really hurts sitting hunched over. Alec lifts my shirt to look at my ribs.

Izzy's voice sounds shrill. "And how are you barely hurt, Jace?"

"I said I was more qualified, didn't I?" I say and despite the pain of Alec currently prodding at my rib,s I smirk.

Jace's eyes widen. Obviously he didn't realize what the whole thing meant. _It requires a lot of skill to train someone without hurting them_, I had said.

"You need to pay more attention to limbs, by the way," I say. Then Alec hits something – no harder then what he was prodding at before, but it hurts more. I shout and impulsively twist his wrist away.

"Clary – _ow."_

I jerk my hand off his wrist quickly.

"Sorry, but you've got a break," Alec says. I hear Izzy sigh; I can't see where she and Jace are standing. "Where's your stele?"

I scoff. "You're lying, that is _not_ broken." I go to get up again and I can feel the pain Alec hit even more now as I try to sit up. I groan.

"How many times have you broken a rib?" Alec asks.

I roll my eyes. "… seven."

"And what does it feel like?" He's being smug and he knows it.

It feels exactly how it feels now, but I don't answer him. I tug my stele out of my pocket and thrust it at Alec before lying back down on the ground.

I feel the tingling on my torso of the rune and when it stops Alec helps me up. "You should tape it up, too. It'll still take a while," he says.

I look over at Jace and his eyebrows are crinkled together. Suddenly he's walking towards Alec and I. "I'll do it," he says. "I'm the one who put the damage there."

He reaches for my arm, but I step back. "It's a broken rib, not a broken arm, Jace."

He sighs and starts out of the room. I follow behind through the halls of the institute and to the infirmary.

I wonder how long he's been living with the Lightwoods and I wonder how I never knew that he and Alec were _parabatai_.

Izzy and I had always said we would become _parabatai_, but things had gotten in the way. Namely, Valentine coming back from the dead. For a while, no one was to know where I was, not even the Silent Brothers; it would put them in danger of Valentine hunting them down. I've known Isabelle my whole life and soon we'll both be eighteen and it'll all be too late.

I don't see the point in not asking, so when we reach the infirmary and he starts rummaging around, I ask, "How long have you lived with the Lightwoods?" I lean against the footboard of one of the beds.

"About five years," he responds. "I think – yeah, after my parents died. I've known them for a while, so they took me in without question." He stops rummaging and comes up with tape. He gestures to my shirt awkwardly.

I roll my eyes. "It's not like you haven't done it yourself, Jace," I say, then realize it probably wasn't the best choice of words as I pull my shirt over my head to reveal the sports bra underneath.

"This is serious. Pull up your arm."

It hurts but I pull my arm around my head so he can see my ribs. He rips off a piece of tape before crouching down beside me; necessary since he's a whole foot taller. I wait for him to put the tape on but I feel the coolness of his fingertips glide across my side.

"It's really bruised… I'm sorry, Clary."

"Not a big deal," I reply. "It happens a lot."

I suck in a breath as he puts the tape on and when he's done I pull my tank top back on. There's suddenly awkwardness between us.

"Thanks."

Jace shoves his hands into the pockets of his track pants. "Don't mention it."

"Actually, good idea," I say. "I'd be sent back if Maryse or Robert find out I've gotten hurt."

"Why?"

"Because everyone in the god forsaken Clave thinks I need to be protected," I reply.

Jace smirks. "If it's any value, it doesn't seem like you need to be protected to me." Then he walks away, having no idea how much a small sentence could mean.

**A/N - what'd ya think? Let me know by reviewing and if you want to read on, follow the story so you know when I post chapter 2! Thanks! 3**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Thank you so much to everyone who's read chapter 1 and decided to follow! I also got a few reviews telling to update ASAP, so her you go! If you didn't know, this entire story is already complete; I've just been editing it as I post each new chapter! I hope to get them all uploaded at regular intervals so you don't have to wait too long to read more. Although, in the meantime, I have a couple of Mortal Instruments one-shots that I'd love for y'all to check out! **

**Disclaimer: The Mortal Instruments and it's beautiful characters belong to Cassandra Clare, of course!**

My ribs heal by the next day, thankfully. In the morning, I make my way down to see Robert Lightwood. If he doesn't like me in his institute now, he's not going to like me much after I speak with him. But it's important. Max being only a level five at nine years-old is not ideal.

I knock lightly on his office door.

"Come in!" he calls.

I walk in hesitantly. Robert's tone of voice has always put me off and suddenly I'm not sure that I can talk to him about Max. "Hi, Robert. I wanted to talk to you-"

"Oh hi, Clary. What would you like?" he seems a bit more chipper than yesterday and it brings my hopes up.

I walk to stand in front of the desk he is sitting at. "Well I was making use of your amazing training room yesterday, and I uh- I was talking to Isabelle and she told me that Max was only at a level five."

Robert was instantly rigid. "Yes, and?" he says condescendingly.

This made me impatient. "Well have you done anything about it? I was tutored in Idris; maybe he could do a lot better there. Jace and I are both qualified to train him, we could help-"

"Listen, Clary. Just because you had amazing tutors as some shadow-hunter prodigy doesn't mean you can criticize the progress of another shadow-hunter. I think all the praise has gone to your head."

I take a step back; shocked that Robert would say something like this to me. "I wasn't trying to criticize anyone; I just wondered what the problem might be. I'd be happy to help train Max. I know Jace would, too."

Robert stands up from his desk. "Well, now you're criticizing the way I'm training my son. I believe that Isabelle and Alec turned out just fine."

"There are different ways of training a shadow-hunter," I say; aware of my voice growing louder.

"Fine," he says. "If you think you can train him, do it today." He's smug. "Then we'll see where it goes."

"Fine," I say; frustrated. I stomp out of the room and close the door loudly behind me. When I turn to go down the hall and find Izzy, I find Max sitting on the floor by his dad's office door. I want to slap myself; he must've been listening the whole time.

"Is it true?" he asks. "Am I not a good shadow-hunter?" His face is angry and his eyes are red. "Why didn't anyone tell me level five was bad?" he gets up off the floor.

"Max-"

But he runs off without letting me finish. Straight to Izzy's room.

How did I manage to screw everything up within twenty-four hours of living here? I head in the opposite direction from Max, hoping to find an empty room.

I end up in the training room without proper training attire.

The first few daggers make the target so I step back further and continue until I'm half way across the room.

Suddenly I hear the door fall shut behind me. "I thought I might find you here," Jace says.

I sigh. "Is Max still upset?"

He nods. "Alec and Izzy are trying to talk to him."

_That's good_, I think._ His siblings will help him out_.

I turn back to the targets only to realize I've got no daggers left in my hands and go to retrieve them.

"Hey," Jace calls from behind me. He pulls out a seraph blades. "Just got these babies in, thought we might be able to try them out."

I shrug. "Sure, why not… just don't break my rib again. Deal?"

His face falls. "You know I am sorry about that."

"I'm only kidding." I roll my eyes.

Practicing with Jace is like a breath of fresh air. We have almost the exact same level of skill, so it's much more challenging to be paired against him. The only problem is that we can easily spot each other's weaknesses and it ends pretty quickly.

After we do a best three out of five our chests are heaving and we're both sweating.

We go to the kitchen to get water, but when we arrive, Robert and Maryse are standing in there, speaking in hushed tones. Not that it matters how quietly they're speaking; I'm sure they're talking about me.

Jace enters the kitchen before I do and when they both glare at me he is the first to speak. "Oh come on. You both know she's right."

I saunter to the fridge to grab two bottles of water and throw one to Jace.

I'm about to leave the kitchen right away but Maryse speaks up. "Despite Max being upset, Clary, Robert and I agree that you can train him for the week. If there is no sign of improvement we may have to send him to Idris."

The corners of my mouth threaten to turn up in a smug smile but I keep my expression neutral as I turn to face them. "When do you want me to start?"

"Whenever Max is ready," Maryse says.

I make my way down to Izzy's room where I know Max is hiding out and Jace follows. I can't just let him go on thinking he's a bad shadow-hunter.

I don't bother knocking on Izzy's door since it's already ajar. She sits on her bed looking worried and Alec is sitting on the floor beside the closed bathroom door trying to coax out Max.

I head straight to the bathroom door and Alec sees me and gets out of the way. I knock on the door.

"I said _go away_," Max's angry voice comes from within.

"Hey now," I say in a joking tone. "It's Clary."

"What do _you_ want?" Max's voice is muffled from the door but impatient in tone.

"I need to tell you something, but I can't do it with this door between us."

"So?"

I try not to get impatient. "How about you unlock the door and let me in and then you can lock it again?" I suggest.

There's silence as he thinks about my offer. Soon enough the door knob jiggles and I know he's unlocked the door. I open it and go inside and then quickly lock the door behind me so he knows I wasn't kidding.

He sits on the edge of Izzy's bathtub and I sit on the floor across from him.

"Max, you're not a bad shadow-hunter. You need to know that," I tell him.

"But I'm not good either. You and Dad said level five wasn't good."

I smile at him. "I don't recall saying that."

"It was implied," he mumbles. "You don't get it, you're great at being at shadow-hunter. What are my friends in Idris gonna think?"

"Do you know what being a good shadow-hunter is, Max?"

"It's being able to protect humans from the demons invading our world, and I'm not good enough to do it."

I shake my head. "Being a shadow-hunter isn't about being good or bad. It's being _brave enough_ to fight the demons," I say sincerely. "And you're the bravest nine year-old I know."

"Really?" he asks, looking at me with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Yeah," I say, smiling. He gets up and I stand too, ready to follow him out of the room. But then he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Thanks , Clary."

I wrap my arms around him too, accepting the hug. "You're welcome. Now go get changed so we can go train."

He releases me immediately and darts out of the bathroom. By the time I make it out to Izzy's bedroom he's already gone down the hall.

Meanwhile, Iz, Jace, and Alec are all sitting in not-so-casual positions.

"You were listening, weren't you?" I ask.

They all nod and relax.

"So how'd you come up with that?" Iz asks.

"Come up with what? I didn't come up with anything."

We stop training around a half hour before dinner time. The kid started working himself a little too hard, but he's on his way past level five.

The night before – the first night I stayed at the Institute – I was deemed to sit between Jace and Robert. Robert and Maryse sat at the two heads and then the Lightwood kids sat across from Jace and I; Max being the closest to Maryse, Iz in the middle, and Alec by Robert.

"How was training with Clary today?" she asks at dinner tonight, as if I'm not in the room.

His eyes light up as he realizes she's actually interested. That's all the kid needed – encouragement. "Clary says I'm gonna be at level six soon!"

"Really?" Robert says.

I look him straight in the eye. "Yeah, really." I hold back an eye roll.

"Clary says being a shadow-hunter is all about being brave and I'm the bravest nine year-old she's ever met," Max goes on.

I'm still looking at Robert and shrug. "It's true." Then I avert my eyes to the plate in front of me. "It just takes a little encouragement," I mutter under my breath, and only Alec, Jace, and Robert hear me.

Jace snorts and I jab him with my foot to shut him up. He coughs to cover it up.

It's silent for a while and all I hear are forks on place when suddenly, Izzy decides she has something to say.

"Hey, did you guys know that Jace and Clary knew each other before now, cause I had no idea."

Now I cough, but it's not fake. I cover my mouth to keep food from going everywhere and then struggle to swallow.

Maryse makes nothing of it. "Well, the shadow-hunter world isn't that big, Isabelle. They _did_ both grow up in Idris." Then she looks at Jace and I. "How did you two meet?"

"Two years ago at a banquet in Idris," I reply. "Max, could you pass the salt?"

"Oh yes," Maryse goes on. "I remember we couldn't make it, but we sent Jace anyways."

Max slides the salt over – oblivious to what's happening – and I take it and thank him.

Izzy nods along with Maryse. "Turns out they had a lot of fun without us– _ow! Jace!"_

I smirk, glad that Jace's legs are long enough to kick across the table.

"Sorry," Jace says, smirking. "Reflex."

After that, it seems like Maryse and Robert have caught on to what Iz implied and the rest of dinner is irritatingly slow and full of awkward small talk.

Just as we're getting up to leave, Maryse calls us out, "Clary and Jace? Could I see you in the library in five minutes?"

"Yes, Ma'am," we both reply at the same time.

When the kitchen doors close behind us Izzy is snickering.

"What the hell, Iz?" I ask once we're far enough away from the kitchen – and Max.

"Oh come on! It was funny!"

"You don't bring up stuff like that!"

Izzy sighs. "It's not like I _want_ to think about it. My adopted brother and my best friend? _Ew_."

"Are you trying to get me sent somewhere else?" I hiss at her.

Suddenly I hear a shrill phone ringing – it's coming from the library. Maryse runs out of the kitchen to get it. I've been to an institute long enough to know that it means I get to wear my gear tonight.

"Looks like we're on duty tonight," Izzy says.

**A/N - Here you are! Hope you enjoyed; let me know my reviewing! Also; yes, Jace and Clary did have sex after the banquet two years ago, but they're obviously avoiding awkwardness as much as possible! **

**Love y'all! 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - hey all! Sorry it's been a while, but I don't have much to make up forit except a short, 1000-ish word chapter! Ah well, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: of course all the mortal instruments characters belong to cassandra clare blah blah blah**

I've heard of Pandemonium before; a historical demon hang-out, in a nut-shell. For some reason the one in New York City was turned into a night club. The Lightwoods explained that they can't even bring Sensors when they come here because they'll just go haywire.

There are at least three demons inside right now. The only way to kill them is to lure them away from the crowd; better safe than having a Mendelin rune fade before it's supposed to.

The first is a quick kill – it didn't try to camouflage itself at all. The second is easy – in a human form, but stupid. This last was proving to be difficult; hard to keep your eyes on for more than a second.

Both Iz and I make our way into the crowd, hoping to lure him out and trap him.

I spot him and make sure not to take my eyes off him. Eventually, he notices me and we both make our way towards each other. I'm vaguely aware of Izzy lurking around behind him.

"You look very familiar," he says seductively. I lead him on, keeping conversation and inching my way backwards to the edge of the crowd where I know Alec and Jace are.

Once we're in the shadows I see Izzy behind the demon and I can feel Jace and Alec's presence behind me.

"What's your name?" he asks, obviously still thinking that he's lured me.

I grab at my seraph blade's hilt and pull it out. "_Remiel_," I name it. It glows between us and the demon realizes what has happened. Jace and Alec appear and hold it back as the demon tries to lurch itself at me.

"Now I know where I've seen you," it hisses. "_Clarissa Morgenstern_."

It startles me. I put my blade up at the demon's throat, it starts to burn the human-looking skin. "What did you just say?"

Its laugh sounds like gurgling water. "I've had the pleasure of meeting your father," it says. "I managed to escape him with my life."

It laughs again and starts struggling in Jace and Alec's grasp. I kill it quickly before it can get away, but I wish I had more time with it. Among a million other questions I wanted to ask, _where's Valentine?_ _What are his plans? _ When we leave the club, the questions are like acid in my brain.

On our way back to the institute I fall behind the other shadow-hunters; their conversation tuned out to hear my own thoughts. Suddenly, Jace is in step with me, all ten feet behind Alec and Iz.

"Are you alright, Clary?"

I look up at him, then forward. "I'm fine, why would you ask?"

"You know_ exactly_ why I'm asking."

"I'm fine. He's been after me since I could throw a dagger, why would it throw me off now?" the question turns out to be more for myself than anything else.

"Because you've never heard something like that before," Jace suggests. "Maybe you're tired of hiding?"

"You'd _really_ like to know," I say, with bitterness in my tone.

When we've reached the institute's doors he says, "Yeah, I would."

When we're up the elevator Maryse is waiting for us.

"I'd still like to speak with Jace and Clary," she says. "Now."

Jace and I glance at each other and follow Maryse to the library where she sits at the desk and we're left standing on either side of the one chair.

"Clary, I'd like to thank you for helping out with Max," she says.

Okay, that's not what I was expecting. "It's really not a problem," I reply hastily.

She nods. "Jace, I'd like you to help out too, tomorrow."

He stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Uh, sure."

We both glance at each other like _cool that's it_, but Maryse soon ruins it.

"You should know I'm not unaware of what Isabelle said at dinner. I can only hope you are both past whatever went on two years ago."

We both nod awkwardly.

"Don't worry, Maryse," I say. "I wouldn't dream anything coming of it."

"Yeah Maryse," Jace says. "Trust me on this. I foresee zero conflict."

"Good. Now go shower, you all smell of demons."

I'm started awake – gasping for air – from a dream I can no longer remember. I know I will not be able to fall back asleep now.

I throw the tangled blankets off me to feel the cool air rush against my skin. My feet find the cold floor and I slip out of my room and to the kitchen. Tea always helps on nights like these.

As I wait for the kettle, I wipe the crust and sleep from my eyes. When I start back to my room, my ear catches on something. I hear soft piano music from the opposite hall. Curious, I turn the other way.

The music is coming from the grand piano in the library. When I'd seen it there the first time, I thought it was just for show - the Lightwoods were not a musically talented family. As it turns out, Jace is the one that can play.

The music stops when I open the library door. "Can't sleep?" I ask.

He nods. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No - bad dream. I probably won't be able to sleep for the rest of the night now."

He slides over to make room beside him on the piano bench, and I sit next to him.

"Can I ask about your bad dream?" He asks as I hug the warm mug in my hands and take a sip.

"You can, but I don't remember much. Not that I like what I remember... so much for brave shadow-hunter, huh?" I mutter.

"I guess you haven't faced _all_ your demons," he jokes.

I could playfully punch him in the arm, or laugh. But instead I say, "No, they just won't face me."

He nods like he knows exactly what I'm talking about and it irritates me.

"What are you nodding about?" I ask, my annoyance coming to the surface.

"Well, I just get what you mean."

I roll my eyes - I swear I can't control them.

"Are you doubting _me,_ Jace Herondale? A friend and ally? What, do you want me to list the reasons why?" His tone is mocking at first, but then I sense that he's actually serious.

I think about it for a second then shake my head. "No, play me something."

He obliges easily. When I finish my tea I set it on top of the piano. Eventually my head feels heavy and falls on Jace's shoulder, and then my eyes grow tired with sleep.

**A/N - hope you enjoyed, new chapter soon! don't forget to R&R! Love y'all!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - This fanfic almost died, not gonna lie. My laptop is currently dying, so #prayformylaptop2014. BUT I AM SMART AND I SAVE ALL MY WRITING ON GOOGLE DRIVE. Shoutout to Google, thank man, you're always there for me. **

**Anyways, today I've got a larger chapter for y'all, so I hope you enjoy it! **

**disclaimer - cassie owns all these characterss;hdsa;lf blah blah **

When I first wake up in the morning I don't remember what happened last night. But then I take in my surroundings and realize I'm snuggly under the covers of my bed and not in the library; Jace must have carried me back to my room.

I feel my cheeks flush with heat, embarrassed by the thought of falling asleep on Jace's shoulder, as if we didn't share a bed two years ago.

When I get to the kitchen there is a buffet of breakfast food all laid out on the counter.

Isabelle is the only one eating at the table though, and it makes me stop. "Iz!" I call. "Did you make this?"

She looks up from the table and smiles. "Yeah, dig in."

_Oh no_. I start out of the kitchen and call, "I'll just be right back!"

When the door closes shut behind me Alec and Jace are making their way towards it. "No!" I shout-whisper.

"What?" Alec asks.

"Iz made breakfast..."

Both their faces pucker.

"Let's ditch and go to Taki's," Jace suggests.

"I'm with you on that one," says Alec.

"Shouldn't we wait for Max?"

They look at me like I'm crazy; as if waiting another second could get as decapitated… although with Iz it might.

"We've already been out here too long, come now if you want, Clary," says Alec. They both head towards the elevator.

I quickly chase after them."Taki's it is."

We order takeout to save the rest of the Lightwoods from Isabelle's cooking. They're all sitting at the table picking at their breakfast when we enter, Taki's bags in hand.

"Put down your forks for I have saved you all!" Jace announces as we set down bags on the counter.

Max jumps out of his seat. "Thank the Angel!"

"_Hey!_" Izzy yells. "I thought you said it was good!"

Max shrugs and digs right into the bags. "Yeah, but Taki's is better." Maryse and Robert soon follow Max's lead and get up to dig into the bags.

Soon we're all sitting around the table with a pouting Isabelle and Jace is talking up Max.

"Eat up, kid. I want to get you past hand to hand combat today."

As I'm about to add to Jace's comment, Maryse cuts in. "Clary, you _did_ get permission to go out to Taki's, right? From the Silent Brothers?"

It catches me off guard, but I try to answer smoothly. "Yeah, of course I did."

Everyone but Robert and an unaware Max look surprised. Alec and Jace obviously know that I didn't call for permission to go out. The conversation goes back to normal without me, and I suddenly feeling uneasy.

Before I can make it to my room Isabelle is trying to catch up with me. "Clary!" she calls down the hall. I stop in front of my door to let her catch up and can't help but notice Alec and Jace talking quietly just down the hall.

"What's up?" I ask.

She speaks in a quiet voice. "Did you really ask the Silent Brother's permission to go to Taki's?"

"Well, no."

"Do you actually have that many rules to stay here?" she asks.

I struggle not to roll my eyes. "You don't want to know all the rules I'm not going to follow."

Iz shifts nervously. "Are you sure it's a good idea?"

"I can take care of myself fine. Just don't tell your parents, alright? Because then they have to tell the Clave and they'll probably lock me up or something."

"Why?"

Iz looks genuinely confused but I don't want to explain it. Especially because I know Jace and Alec are listening in. "I have to get ready to train Max," I say and then slip into my room and close the door on her.

I dress so quickly that when I come back out of my room, Iz is standing with Jace and Alec. I walk right by them to the training room. Max is there when I arrive, already stretching.

"You ready to start?" I ask him.

He nods. "Do I get to do hand-to-hand with Jace today?" he asks, excited.

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea…" I say, thinking of my broken rib. "When he gets here he can watch. It's easier to find what you need to work on that way."

"Looks like I've been deemed the observer," Jace says as he appears in the doorway. "I can't believe you just downgraded me."

I pat a hand on my recently-broken-recently-healed rib. "It'll do us all some good."

He rolls his eyes, but he knows I'm right and stands on the edge of the mat to observe. Once I can tell Max is ready, I launch myself right at him but he quickly catches my shoulder and shoves me into the ground.

"That's how you do it!" Jace shouts at Max. "No one waits for you to be ready."

Max isn't paying attention anymore, though and I'm at the perfect angle to swipe at his knees. When I do, he falls on his back. "Don't stop paying attention, Max," I say getting up. "You've got good instincts, don't second guess them."

Max sighs. "What's hand- to-hand combat even supposed to teach me? You can't even kill a demon without a seraph blade."

The rest of the afternoon goes on like this: Jace and I telling Max what he's good at and how to use it to his advantage; Max wondering why he needs certain skills; us reassuring him that it doesn't matter if he's not very good at something. By the end of the afternoon, we're piling out of the training room sweaty and hungry.

Jace gives Max a slap on the back and I pretend not to see Max's wince. "Good job today, bud."

Max smiles at both of us. "Thanks… I'm gonna go shower now…" then he turns and strides away.

I go to the kitchen to get a water bottle from the fridge and plop myself down on a chair at the table. Jace sits across from me.

"What do you think?" he asks. I know he's referring to Max.

I sigh. "He's almost there, he's so close. It's just…"

"His strength," Jace finishes. "The kid's not strong enough."

"We're gonna have to get him on the weights. He needs the muscle for this and everything afterwards…" I say, trailing off. He'll be devastated when he finds out that strength his is biggest problem. I'm worried he'll be discouraged.

There's silence between us and I start thinking of last night in the library. "Thanks for getting me back to bed last night," I say, avoiding eye contact.

He shrugs. "Not a big deal."

I roll my eyes. "Come on. You're Jace Herondale. You slept with a girl, and now you have to live with her. What will happen when you bring a girl home and I become insanely jealous?" I ask sarcastically.

To my surprise, his only response is a roll of his eyes.

"Seriously," I go on. "How many girls since? Three? Five?"

He stares right at me. "I could ask you the same question, Morgenstern. How many guys since? Five?"

I narrow my eyes, not wanting to give it away.

The kitchen door opens and I can't help but jump. It sounds loud compared to the silence Jace and I were just sitting in. Izzy walks in. "My mom needs to see you in the library."

I stand immediately. "You didn't say anything did you?" But as I say it, the worry in Isabelle's eyes grow.

"No," she replies. "I didn't. I don't know what it's about but I think it's urgent."

I immediately think of my mother. _Safe and sound in Idris_, I'd told Robert and Maryse. Yes, she's in Idris, but she's not safe.

I run out of the kitchen and down the hall to the library. Maryse is sitting at her desk and the tall hooded figure beside her is Brother Zachariah.

I get no greeting. "I've been informed that you've not been so honest, Clary," Maryse says. She doesn't look disappointed or angry, only concerned.

I keep my neck tall as I close the rest of the distance between myself and the desk. "I don't see the bother in humoring you." I glance at Brother Zachariah. "None of you seem to grasp the concept that Valentine will find me and none of you will be able to stop him. Go ahead," I say holding my arms out in surrender, "accuse me of acting like him, compare me to him all you'd like. It's not like you want me here anyway, Maryse, so say what you need to say to get me locked up."

I feel a stinging in my eyes and tears threaten to spill over.

_Clarissa_, Brother Zachariah's voice sounds in my head. _You need to have faith in your people. We are only trying to do what is best for you. You are a valuable shadow-hunter._

His tone implies that he knows of my freaky talents, but he says nothing more of it. It doesn't surprise me at all that the Silent Brothers know about it, but they've obviously kept it from the Clave or I would already be locked up by now.

_You need to trust me – us. You are already so much like him. You must be brave._

I almost laugh. The Silent Brother's and I suddenly have an unspoken agreement; I follow the rules, and they keep me from getting locked up by the Clave.

The hooded figure then turns to Maryse and I realize that she did not hear Brother Zachariah's exchange with me.

_We are done here._

Maryse stands. "That's _it?_"

_Yes, that it is all. You may go know, Clarissa._

Before Maryse can say another word that may hinder me, I escape from the library. As I shut the door behind me, I'm not surprised to see two figures turning down the corner of the hallway.

I sprint down the hallway and round the corner before Jace and Isabelle can escape. "Hey!" I call after them and they stop and turn.

I keep running until they're on front of me. By the looks on their faces they've obviously heard the entire exchange in the library.

"You heard it all?" I ask anyways.

They both just nod.

I suddenly notice I've been wringing my hands together, but I can't find it in me to stop. I take a deep breath. "Don't be like - freaked out, okay?"

Izzy starts shaking her head. "I just don't get it, Clary. Why do they want to lock you up?"

I look down and watch my hands as they twist to together. "I show a lot of qualities my own father had. They've been watching me my whole life, Iz. Not just since he miraculously came back from the dead. I'm a threat without threatening anyone."

I can't help but notice that Jace is still silent. When I glance at him, he's watching my hands twist together.

I look up at Izzy and she looks like she's on the verge of tears. "Iz?" I say quietly.

She starts shaking her head and backing away from me then turns with a "sorry" and retreats to her room.

The anger bubbles up inside me. _Good job, Clary_, I think. _You just scared your best friend to death_. Then the anger retreats into my fist and I can't stop it before it hits the wall next to me. The drywall breaks, but I pull my hand back in pain and cradle my fist to my stomach. "Dammit!" I shout. Tears fill my eyes and spill over.

"Woah, there," a voice says. I had forgotten Jace was there. Suddenly his arm is wrapped around my shoulder. "Just sit for a second."

I can't see clearly through the tears in my eyes so I sit where he guides me. I try to blink away the tears so I can clearly see Jace sitting in front of me. He holds his hand out. "Let me see."

I give him my injured hand. My knuckles have spilt and spill blood. There's a throbbing pain in them.

I wipe at the moisture under my eyes with my left hand while Jace digs around his pockets, coming up with a stele. The _izrate_ makes the throbbing lessen, but the bleeding doesn't stop.

"There must be a splinter," I say. I get up from the floor. "I'll have to get it out."

Jace stands too. "I'll help you."

I don't refuse his help because I honestly probably wouldn't have actually gone to get the splinter out. I feel heavy; like all my mental and physical energy has been sucked right out of me.

I get an odd sense of déjà-vu following Jace to the infirmary. All the while I can't get the way Izzy looked at me out of my head.

I sit on a bed in the infirmary and Jace examines my knuckles with a pair of tweezers.

"I think Iz is just worried; you know how she gets," he suddenly says.

I laugh, but it doesn't sound like one. "She's terrified of Valentine, you know. I doubt she's worried."

He starts digging into my knuckles and I gasp through my teeth.

"You're nothing like him," says Jace. He's concentrating my knuckles and doesn't look up at me, but I'm looking at him much differently.

I'm not sure how long it is until I respond. "How do you know? I could be a raging psychopath. Maybe it just hasn't come out yet."

He shrugs. "I just know."

Jace finally pulls something out of my knuckle and I watch as the skin closes up. My skin is pink and raw where it was cut open. My eyes follow him as he stands. "Thank you."

He shrugs and starts out of the infirmary but I stop him.

"Jace?" I ask.

"Yeah?" he turns with his brows furrowed together.

"Can I ask how your parents died?"

His features smooth out immediately but his eyes change from wonder to sadness. "Valentine," is all he says.

I don't break eye contact. I don't dare. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I know."

"Clary?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll- we'll keep you safe. Here. In the institute."

I smile a small smile. "I know."

He smiles too, and then walks out the infirmary.

**A/N - how'd you like it? Let me know by reviewing! And if you're not following We Could Love yet; follow and you'll be sent an email when a new chapter comes out! **

**P.S. THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL THE AMAZING RESPONSES ON THIS FIC I LOVE YOUR FACES**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N - Happy Capalday to my Doctor Who fans! I promise you'll love this chapter, friends!**

**Disclaimer: cassandraclareownsbeautufilcharactersandwouudlssjhfdsdf**

"Clary!" I'm being shaken awake. I open my eyes to find a nine year old boy standing in front of me.

I groan and roll over. "What, Max?"

"Everyone's waiting for you at breakfast; I offered to come wake you up!" He's grinning.

I throw my arm over my eyes. "Wait time is it?"

"Almost eleven."

I sit up in bed quickly.

Max laughs. "Don't worry, everyone slept in… you just slept a little longer. Come down to breakfast, Dad says he has news!"

I want to fall back into my pillow, but instead I get up and pad down to the kitchen with Max.

When we walk in Alec is the first one to turn and say something. "Well look who is finally greeting the day."

I scowl at him. "Shut up."

I can't remember the last time I've been this tired. I feel groggy, and Alec is not helping with my irritableness. I wonder if I had another bad dream last night. I think I may have, but I don't remember what it could've been about.

Bad dreams. The only thing a shadow-hunter really has to be afraid of.

When I sit down next to Jace he asks, "How did you sleep last night?"

I blink a few times. "I don't remember."

He glances at my hand. "That looks better."

When meet his eyes, I feel like I'm drowning. I nod, and then look away.

"Now that everyone has joined us. I think I'd like to tell you all something," Robert says beside me. "We've been watching Max's progress with Clary and Jace. And I believe he's almost ready for level six."

Max jumps up and knocks over his glass of orange juice. "_Really_?"

I laugh. Because the kid is so excited he's lost skill and knocked over his orange juice, and because I'm glad I've found a way to be useful here.

Robert nods at Max and Max starts jumping up and down. He runs over to Jace and I and somehow pulls us both in his arms. "Thank you, thank you…" he goes on and Jace and I are both laughing and hugging him back.

"You're welcome," I tell him.

"Congrats, buddy," Jace says.

When Max finally let's go, he runs back to his chair. He sits and bounces up and down as Alec and Iz congratulate him.

"Your test will be two weeks from now. Until then, keep on working," Maryse says.

I feel as though it may be directed more towards Jace and I than Max. I try to suppress the urge to glare at her but it doesn't work. When she catches me she raises her eye brows in challenge and I look away.

Jace walks with me to the training room.

"We should start him on weights today," he says.

I nod. "I don't think he'll like it, but he doesn't have time to like it now."

"I agree. But I think he'll be able to handle two weeks. He's been working really hard."

"Maybe a little too hard."

Jace stops. "What?"

I keep walking. "Never mind."

His hand catches my arm and I scold myself for never being able to keep my mouth shut. "Why do you say it like that?"

I shrug like it's no big deal. "I just don't want him to become a machine, Jace. You know, kind of like how we turned out." I gesture my hand between us.

He frowns. "What are you talking about?"

I roll my eyes. "They watch you almost as much as they watch me."

His face falls; he never realized.

"They watch all the 'talented' shadow-hunters, Jace."

He swallows hard. "Right. Yeah, I know." Then he keeps walking to the training room.

When we arrive, Max is standing in the middle of the room. His eyes are bright and excited.

"We've got a little change Max," Jace says.

Like that Max's face falls and I feel horrible.

"We just want to put you on the weights today," I tell him.

He doesn't argue; he sighs and walks over to the weights. Jace and I exchange a glance; today will be a long day.

Afterwards, I make my way around the institute, left to my own thoughts. I've decided to let Isabelle figure it out herself. Partly because I know it's no use in trying to change her mind. She's always been this way.

I find myself walking up a huge flight of stairs and into a huge dome full of lush green plants and colourful flowers. The dome is made entirely of glass and I can see the busy New York streets of light glowing in the night below the institute.

I turn back around to look at the plants. Some of them are small and sit in stone bowls and some are tall and look as if they're about to escape through the glass above them.

"It's beautiful in here isn't it?" I ask and turn to see Jace walking into the greenhouse.

He smirks and nods, and then his face is serious. "I've been thinking about what you said."

"I say a lot of things, you're gonna have to refresh my memory."

"About turning Max into a machine… you were right. We shouldn't work a whole day like this again. I don't want him to turn out like I did…"

"Or like I did?" I ask with a smirk. "We both ended up as rule breakers, its okay."

Jace laughs.

"What?" I ask, walking towards him.

"Nothing. It's funny cause it's true."

I laugh too. "I guess we're all screwed up somehow. With most of us it's Valentine that's screwed us up…"

Jace starts shaking his head. "I meant what I said yesterday; it's not your job to apologize for Valentine… the guy wouldn't be sorry anyways."

I look away. "My mom says he was kind once. He just got too wrapped up in what he wanted. He thought what he was doing was right."

"I believe it. He knew what he was doing, just because they weren't good things, doesn't mean he was stupid."

I look back up at him. Somehow he just understands; I don't get it.

Our bodies are suddenly inches apart. His golden eyes are staring into my soul. I feel exposed and I gulp back the fear.

"Clary…" he says quietly.

"What?" I whisper back.

His eyes are still starring into mine, and mine into his.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Live so easily?"

I don't want to ruin it. I don't know what 'it' might be, but I don't want to ruin it. I close more space between us and tilt my head up so I can see his eyes better.

When I first meet my lips to his, he seems surprised. But then his lips close around mine. It's so familiar; a feeling that doesn't happen to me much, anymore. I feel intoxicated as my hands slip into his hair. His beautiful, shaggy blonde hair.

As if his mind takes him back too, his arms slip around my waist.

Finally we break apart. I almost forget about his question; how do I live so easily, he asked me. "We're shadow-hunters," I say. "We have to live."

He laughs and I feel it vibrate through me. "Is that true? I thought we had to be brave."

"Bravery is more of a character trait," I tell him, "something we grow up with. But learning how to live is a state of mind."

Jace lets his forehead fall against mine.

"You know two years ago," he says quietly. "I'd grown up all my life with tutors telling me to push harder, to keep going, to train until I was bruised and bloody. And then I was finally getting to do something that proved I'd done all this hard work. I had something to show for it. But all I heard anyone talk about was you and how amazing you were. I wanted to meet you and find out that you were a flunk. But you're not. You're amazing."

My hands slip from his hair and fall to his shoulders. "Sounds pretty familiar," I respond; because it's true. I had felt the same way. "No wonder we-"

I cut myself off. What if that's all we still are? I pull away from Jace and sit on one of the stone bowls holding soil and plants. Jace immediately sits next to me.

"Clary?"

I swallow hard. "Two years ago… we can't, not here." I look up from the ground and dare to glance at his face.

He's shaking his head. "I'm not looking for a hook up, Clary."

"I can't promise we're not being watched." I sigh.

He cups his hands around my face. "Better give 'em a good show, then."

**A/N - Let me know if you enjoyed it by reviewing! Thank you sosososo much to all the lovely people who have been following and reviewing lately; I love you!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N - I won't keep you, there's an exciting chapter up ahead**

**Disclaimer: you know the drill**

Around two in the morning I'm woken up. I think its morning and I wonder if I slept in too late again but it's Robert. He's out in the hall shouting at us to get up because there's demon activity in central park.

I jump out of bed and quickly change into my gear. My weapons hang in my closet and I hurry to sheath them against me.

When I get out of my room I head towards the elevator. Jace is the only one there yet and he smiles when he sees me. I get on my toes and kiss him.

"Long time no see." He smirks.

"How are we gonna tell them?" I ask. As if on cue I hear doors closing down the hall.

He shrugs. "Might as well let them figure it out."

I laugh and wonder what would happen if we told them we were together just before going out to hunt demons… it's probably better letting them figure it out.

As Isabelle and Alec approach I realize I still haven't spoken to her in two days.

Just as we're about to leave she says, "don't you need _permission_ to leave?" It takes me a second to realize Iz is talking to me.

"Robert let me know she's clear," Jace cuts in. I turn to look at him and raise my eyebrows, wondering if he's serious or not but I can't tell.

We quickly head down to Central Park. The night would be pitch black if we didn't live in New York City. It makes sense that there would be demons in Central Park. It's the perfect place to hide, even during the day.

Jace takes out a sensor when we get to the park. "Thank the Angel we're on the right end. Follow me."

We follow Jace into a cluster of trees and the sensor goes nuts. I hear branches breaking around us and I know it's not the shadow-hunters around me; we have silence runes.

Suddenly something grabs me from behind and I quickly pull a dagger out.

I hear Jace yell, "Forsaken!"

It drops me to the ground when I stick the dagger in its side. I turn to see that Jace is right. We're surrounded by forsaken.

"How the hell did they get here?!" I yell as I turn and take out a seraph blade.

It keeps trying to grab me again and I can't get a good stab at it. I quickly name the blade and it glows to life. It swipes at my face but as it does I get a good stab it. It falls when I pierce its chest and disappears as I decapitate it.

I turn to find Isabelle struggling and run over to help her. The demon doesn't see me as I sneak behind it and cut down its back with my blade. I have to step out of the way quickly so it doesn't fall on me before it disappears.

I look past Isabelle for a second and find Alec struggling with one demon and Jace with two. They're fighting with their backs against each other. Isabelle and I run over to help them and I take one of the demons Jace is fighting. This one tries to grab me too, but I manage to spear it through.

But as do the demon Jace is fighting grabs him around the neck and pierces his leg.

"_Jace!_" I scream and lodge a dagger into the demons arm around his neck. It legs go of him and I use another dagger to lodge it into the demon's head. It finally falls to the ground.

I run over to Jace. I can't tell if there are other Forsaken around us, the world around me blurs.

Jace's eyes are shut but his teeth are clenched.

"Jace?"

He groans and clenches at the wound in his side. He groans, "friggin' demons."

Alec and Isabelle finally rush over to Jace's side. Alec begins frantically fussing over Jace it find the wound.

I pull open Jace's jacket for Alec and he starts drawing on an_ izrate_. But it quickly sizzles away.

I groan. "Jace, it's not working."

But he doesn't reply. When I look up at his face his jaw isn't tight anymore.

"Jace?" I grab his face with my hands, "_Jace?_"

"It's the demon poison, Clary. We have to get him back and call the Silent Brothers. _Now_," Alec tells me.

"Alec, we're never gonna get back there in time," Isabelle says. She sounds like she's choking.

I feel like _I'm_ choking. Jace can't leave. Not when I'm finally getting something right done.

The tears are blurring my vision but I see the rune clearly. It's screaming at me; the swirls like a fire itching to be free. I don't care who might be watching. I don't care if I'll scare Isabelle to death. I pull my stele out and press it into the dirt.

"Clary, what are you doing—" Alec says.

"Shut up!" I yell, trying to concentrate.

When the rune is finished it glows on the ground and transforms into a glowing blue portal. I stand over it, looking into the blue abyss. The faint image of the Institute's library is behind the fog of blue.

"Alec! Get him through there," I say.

"Clary… I don't—"

I feel like grabbing Alec's shoulders and shaking him. "_Just do it Alec!"_

This time he takes me seriously. He pulls Jace over his shoulder and goes through the portal.

I turn to Isabelle. "Iz?" I ask hesitantly.

Her eyes are wide. "I've never seen that rune before."

"I didn't either until a minute ago," I say. "But Alec and Jace already went through and I don't know how long it'll last."

She goes through without a word.

When I jump through after her, I land in the library of the institute and the portal closes behind me. When I look around Alec is just leaving the room with Jace on his shoulder. Isabelle is already up on her feet following them.

Maryse is on the phone at the large desk and stares at me as I approach her.

"I don't care who you send," she says into the phone. "Just get someone here!" Then she hangs up.

I stare at her, waiting for her to say something.

"They called me, you know. Too bad they can't do that all the time. Although, I don't often find my children in situations like this."

I don't know Maryse very well but I'm not surprised by the harsh words.

"You know I have nothing to apologize for," I say. If Jace had been lying and Robert hadn't cleared my going out, she would've said so.

"Except putting my children in danger. When Brother Zachariah is done with Jace we're going to decide what to do with you. Depending on how it goes, the Clave will be called tomorrow."

I wonder if Valentine would be able to get his hands on me before the Clave did, and I'm not sure which I'd prefer.

I turn around and start out of the library. "I'm going to see Jace."

"Forsaken don't come out of nowhere, _someone_ must create them. I'm not trying to be insensitive; I'm trying to keep my children safe."

I pause with my hand on the door. "Shadow-hunters live short lives, Maryse. None of us are ever safe." I leave the library without looking back at her.

Maryse is right. The forsaken don't just appear out of thin air. Someone in the city had to have created them, and if Valentine knows I'm here he could've been the one to unleash them on us.

When the library door shuts behind me I lean my forehead against the wall next to it. My eyes fill with moisture.

I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved. How long have I been moved around to know that I could be moved again at any time?

I've been helping Max. He's been making progress. And—

_Jace._

I step away from the wall and wipe the moisture from my eyes, then head towards the infirmary.

Before I can get there, Brother Zachariah is coming out of the elevator. His hood nods towards me.

_Clarissa. _

"He's in the infirmary," I say.

He steps towards me. _You've been upset_.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, feeling upset all over again.

_We're still on your side_, I hear before he turns down the hall.

"Wait!" I call. "I have one more question."

He turns.

"Why is it always you?"

His tone is somehow humorous. _We all have things we need to hide, Clarissa._

"Do the other Silent Brothers know? About…" I trail off, not know what to call it.

_I'm sorry._

I don't stop by the infirmary; I go straight to my room and start packing my bags. I know they'll call the Clave, maybe even before tomorrow.

I make it through the whole night without someone booking me a trip to Idris. In the morning I go to the infirmary instead of the kitchen.

I heard Brother Zachariah leave the infirmary last night. But he never left the institute and I never slept.

When I walk into the infirmary I find Jace awake.

"I wondered when someone was gonna break me out of here." He's smirking at me.

"How are you?" I ask him as he sits up in the bed. As the blanket falls off his torso, I realize he's shirtless and there is white gauze wrapped around his waist. You can tell where his wound was by the dots of red. But I suspect it's closed up and almost healed by now.

"I've been better."

I sit on the edge of the bed, but Jace wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me in until I'm lying next to him.

I feel his chin rest on my shoulder and I can't see his whole face when I turn my head.

"What's wrong?" Jace asks. "I'll be fine you know."

I look down at my hands wringing together and sigh. "When you got hurt, we knew we wouldn't be able to get you back in time, so I—uh, made a portal to drop us off in the library."

"You… made a _portal?_"

"With a rune," I say. "That came from my head… because Valentine did something weird to me and now he's looking for me. So I'm not actually the shadow-hunter people think I am, I'm what my psychotic dad turned me into."

Jace's hand cups my face and turns me towards him. All he does is meet his lips with mine.

The door the infirmary swings open and Jace and I pull apart.

"I'm not stupid," Alec says looking back and forth at us. His face turns grave. "Clary is wanted in the library."

**A/N - thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter. Review again and tell me your thoughts, predictions, what you did/didn't like, etc. New chapter soon! Love your faces 3**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N - I meant to get this up way sooner but for some reason found myself otherwise occupied. Anyways, I won't keep you, here you go!**

**Disclaimer: you get it**

When I reach the library Maryse, Brother Zachariah, and Consul Penhallow are all seated around a table I've never seen before.

So they did call the Clave. Valentine is sure to find me now; the Clave can't keep their mouth shut for two seconds.

I sit in the empty chair. "So, what are you going to do with me? Lock me up?"

"No," Consul Penhallow says, "we're going to let you stay here until you and Jace Herondale come to Idris with Max for his next testing. As long as you keep following the Silent Brothers rules I see no reason to send you off."

_No reason at all, _Brother Zachariah says. I wonder if the Clave knows about my weird rune-powers.

"_Wait_," I say. "Max's test is in _Irdis_? Since when do institute kids to tests in Idris?"

"Since you and Jace Herondale are the people training him; that's when we test kids in Idris," Consul Penhallow replies. "We're thinking of keeping him in Idris as a tutor."

I glance at Maryse. She doesn't look happy.

"Except I've one more condition to propose," Maryse says. "If my children are put into danger by her again—"

"There is no proof yet that Valentine was the one to plant the Forsaken," Consul Penhallow interrupts. "The Clave is looking into it. Until then I believe your proposal is invalid."

Maryse looks pissed.

"Keep training Max while Jace is in recovery," Consul Penhallow says to me as she stands. "I hope to not see you until two weeks are up."

I don't roll my eyes because I hope to not see her for two weeks either.

In the training room, Max looks stressed. I start him on the weights as Jace sits at the side, still recovering. We're supposed to move onto hand to hand training but Jace and I decide to let him sit and talk to us before we move on.

"Are you okay Max?" I ask.

He nods. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me, Max," Jace says.

Max looks down at the floor beneath him. "I don't know… it's my first test in Idris. My other tests have been with my parents."

The only reason they want Max in Idris is because they want Jace and I in Idris. I'm not sure if Jace knows about the Clave's plans and make a mental note to ask him about it later.

"We'll be right there with you, Max," I tell him. "We know you can do it."

"We know you _will _do it," Jace says.

Max smiles a little. "Thanks," says to the ground.

I stand and walk over to the mat and gesture Max over. "Alright, let's go."

Afterwards Jace and I end up in the kitchen alone again. I can tell he's trying to hide the fact that his side is still sore.

"Do you need a painless rune?" I ask, nodding to his side.

"No." He shifts in his chair and winces.

I get up and cross to his side of the table. He lifts his shirt as I pull the stele out of my pocket.

"You know why they want Max's test in Idris?"

I can't tell if he's wondering or asking if I want to know.

"I know," I say hesitantly, concentrating on the rune.

"They might make me stay too," he says.

The rune is done and there's nothing left to distract me. I look up at him. "I know."

"Alec doesn't know yet. _Parabatai_ can't just be separated like that; we're supposed to fight together. But if the Clave wants me to stay I can't just – _deny_ them."

I shrug. "You can if you want to. They wouldn't keep you from your _parabtai_."

"Are you sure? They're already taking you. All they did when my parents were killed was send me here."

"Sounds familiar."

He laughs once half-heartedly. "It's really not a coincidence that we met two years ago, is it? We're so similar. Except you don't let people control you, so why are you letting them now?"

I look him straight in the eye. "Because I've finally found something and I refuse to let go of it."

Jace smiles. "There she is." He gets up and kisses my forehead before leaving the kitchen.

I'm about to get up and leave the kitchen as well, but then the door opens and Isabelle comes walking in.

She stops when she sees me, as if she is unsure of what to say.

"Hi," I say first. My voice is smaller than I had hoped.

She just nods without smiling and goes about what she came in the kitchen to do.

I sigh.

But then she speaks. She doesn't look at me, but I'm just grateful that she's actually speaking to me. "Is it true that you're not coming back after Max's test?"

I watch her, because I figure that if she's not putting in the effort to look at me, I might as well look at her. "Yes," I answer.

"What are they going to do with you?" her voice is different than I've ever heard it. She sounds like a small child.

"Your guess is as good as mine," I tell her softly.

Finally she looks at me and her eyes are wet. "I'm so sorry, Clary."

When I take in my next breath it's shaky. I get up from the kitchen table and head over to Iz. On cue we both embrace each other. We're both crying.

"I'm sorry," Iz says again.

"I know, I am too," I reply.

She pulls away and wipes her eyes. "Why should you be sorry?"

"Because I'm putting you all in danger. Plus, I'm the reason Max's test is in Idris and the kid is freaking out. When have you ever heard of an institute kid having to do a test in Idris?"

Izzy's face falls. "Is that what they really call us? _Institute kids_?"

I laugh. "Sorry, Iz. But yeah, it's true."

One week is gone.

Jace was completely healed not two days after the incident and we've been working hard with Max ever since. We can both tell how exhausted he is, but he won't admit it, and I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

The only thing important to him is that he's ready for his test in seven days, which is exactly what Jace and I didn't want to happen.

I've been denied to go out demons hunting three times this past week by the silent brothers and I've been trying to keep my promise of not going against them, but it's been pretty difficult.

This, right now, is the third time. It worries me every single time. I've known Alec and Izzy for forever, and Jace is… Jace. How could I not be worried when they're going out hunting demons that may be possibly working for Valentine?

I've managed to keep myself calm the past two times, but this time I wait across from the elevator instead of lying awake in my room, my ears straining to hear the sounds of the elevator, my brain fighting the fog of sleep to avoid nightmares.

Just last night I woke up shaking and cold just before Jace flung himself into my room.

I started as the door flew open.

"Clary?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

I couldn't make sense of anything as my nightmare started to fade from my memory. I just nodded.

"Are you sure? You were yelling for me…"

Part of the dream flickered in my memory; Jace had been in trouble. "I'm okay." My voice cracked and I swallowed hard to get rid of the lump.

He nodded. "Okay…" and then turned in the doorway to leave but I stopped him.

"Jace?" I asked.

He stopped and turned to look at me.

"Will you stay?"

He quietly shut the door and crawled under the covers beside me; pulling me against him until I fell back asleep.

Now I'm worried I won't be able to sleep without him there. I'd never slept so soundly in my entire life. So I'm stuck watching the elevator, waiting for them to come back.

"Clary?"

I look down the hall to see Max coming down the hall from out of his room and fix my face so I don't look as tired as I feel.

"What are you doing up, Max?" I ask as he pads down the hall towards me.

He shrugs. "I can't sleep." When he reaches me, he sits against the wall beside me. "…I've been kind of nervous lately."

I laugh a little. "Kind-of nervous is different than can't-sleep nervous," I tell him. "Don't worry about it, Max. I know you'll be great."

"Yeah," is all he replies with.

I look away from him and stare at the elevator.

"Why are you sitting here?"

The question catches me off guard. "Uh, I can't sleep either."

"Why are you sitting _here_?" he asks again.

I sigh. "Do you ever worry about them when they go out?"

"They know what they're doing. If my parents aren't worried, then I'm not worried."

Max thought he was the family's worst shadow-hunter two weeks ago. Either I'm blind or the kid just went through a huge growth spurt because he's not four like the last time I saw him. He's nine years old; not a kid anymore, not naïve as one might be. He's almost as tall as I am. He's not hiding behind his siblings anymore. He's Max Lightwood.

"You're gonna do great out there, Max."

He shrugs it off. "I'm sorry you can't go out with them, Clary. I know you want to."

I smile at him. "Thanks, Max."

He stands. "I'm gonna try to go to sleep now… you should too."

"Good-night, Max."

I watch as he walks back down the hall and his bedroom door closes behind him.

My head falls against the wall behind me. My eyes suddenly feel heavy and I close them. _Just resting my eyes_, I tell myself.

An odd creaking sound wakes me. I'm not sure what time it is, but I haven't gotten nearly enough sleep. I don't open my eyes in hopes that I'll just fall back asleep.

More creaking and sliding, but it seems distant as my brain tries to pull me back into sleep.

"Clary?" I hear Jace's voice.

"She must've stayed up," Alec's voice says.

"Who's taking her?" Izzy asks.

I feel two familiar arms pick me up and I let my head fall on Jace's chest. I don't remember my head hitting the pillow.

I wake up with my body tucked against Jace's back. My clock reads as six am and I'm sure that no one will be awake yet, but I know I won't be able to get back to sleep.

I quietly slip out of my room and into the institute hallways. It's almost eerily quiet before I hear the sounds of Alec snoring in his room. I look out the window at the end of the hall and find the sky already a bright blue. The air looks crisp and fresh and all I want to do is go hunt demons in this beautiful weather.

I may not be able to kick demon ass, but that doesn't mean I can't step outside and enjoy the weather. It's almost been an entire week since I've been outside.

Without waking Jace, I sneak into my room and slip on shoes before heading out the Institute.

I'm not going to leave the Institute grounds, of course, that would be going against the promise I made to the Silent Brothers. Instead of going down the elevator, I head towards the sanctuary; the only room in the institute a werewolf or vampire could enter. The door leading out of the sanctuary goes to a small garden at the back of the institute. There's even a little bench.

I open the door to let myself outside, but the sky isn't the same cool blue day I saw from the window. I'm not even sure _what_ it is. I'll I can see is grey smoke and I feel like I'm choking on it.

Suddenly I realize that it was a bad idea to leave without something other than a stele.

This is demon mist.

I turn to go back inside the institute but the smoke is too heavy for me to find the door. I want to scream as the smoke continues to choke me but I can't inhale enough air to get the sounds out.

Something I don't see pushes me hard into the ground. I feel something slice across my torso in the process and I finally manage to scream.

Just before the world goes black.

**A/N - *runs for cover* I'm sorry! I promise you won't have to wait long for the next chapter! Let me know what you thought of this chapter by reviewing and maybe it will come more quickly ;) **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N - I told y'all I'd get the next one up soon, didn't I? Since this is so soon after the last chapter, make sure that you've read Chapter 7 before continuing on, I don't want you to spoil yourself! Anyways, this one's shorter, but that doesn't mean nothing happens... trust me. **

**Disclaimer - BLAHH YOU GET IT RIGHT?**

As I start to wake up and I wonder why on earth my bed is so cold and hard. But then I remember. The demon mist.

I bolt upright.

It's dark and cold. I can hear something dripping in the distance. There are three solid walls surrounding me, and the fourth wall is made up of bars.

I'm in a cell.

"What the hell?" I whisper to myself.

Something bangs in the distance and I stand and run up to the bars. "Hey!" I yell. "Who's there? Who locked me up in here?!"

I hear snarling and see a dark figure approach my cell. It's tall and bulky. As it steps into a small pool of light from a tiny window I see just what it is; a greater demon.

"Clarissa Morgenstern couldn't fight off a little demon mist?" it snarls.

My hand tightens on the bars as the other reaches into my pocket; they didn't take my stele. "Who are you working for?" I demand.

"Can't do some deducing, little girl?" it asks.

My hand tightens around the stele and I start to pull it out. The demon doesn't notice when I place the tip against the bars. I can already see the rune. _Blast_, it says. _Blast blast blast._

I drag the stele along the bars quickly. There's been practically no time since the demon called me _little girl_.

"Go to hell," I say, just before I connect the last tips of the rune together.

I take a few steps back as the bars begin to sizzle.

The only way to describe how a hole blew out of the bars would be blast. One of the airborn bars loges straight through the greater demon. I know he will recover soon and I run as fast as I can towards where he came from. I meet a set of stairs and hurl myself up until I reach a door.

But when I get the door open a familiar face is there to greet me.

Valentine.

I'm so taken aback I don't remember anything.

_What's my name? _

_Where did I come from? _

_What am I? Who am I? _

_That's my father. My insane father._

When I open my mouth all that escapes is a whisper. "By the Angel."

Valentine laughs. "I see you've finally decided to join me. Nice rune work by the way."

My thoughts finally find me again and I clench my hand in a fist before throwing it at Valentine's face. But he catches it and twists my arm painfully. I let out a cry.

"I do wish we could've done this the easy way."

"You son of a bitch," I spit at him through clenched teeth. "What the hell do you want with me?!"

"Oh Clarissa," he tugs on my arm and puts his face inches away from mine. "How do you think you became the way you are, huh? You're the most talented shadow-hunter in all of Idris. How do you think that came to be?"

_Nice rune work_, his voice echoes in my brain. _How do you think you became the way you are…_

What did he do to me?

I use the hand that's not trapped in his grip and take a hit to his abdomen. He buckles enough to release his grip, but I am not free. As I step back something kicks my side and I fly across the room before slamming into the ground.

The air is knocked out of me and I cough to try and get my lungs working again. When I look up Valentine is walking towards me.

"What did you do to me?" I choke out.

He grabs my neck and lifts me off the ground with my back against the wall. My feet lift off the ground and with his hand wrapped tightly around my neck.

My hands claw at his, begging him to let go.

My lungs ache. My head feels like it may pop off my body.

"Your mother was pregnant with you before she left. I wanted to _help_. You should be _thanking_ me."

He reaches into my pocket and pulls out my stele and then finally lets go of my neck. I drop to the floor coughing and trying to get oxygen in my body. My neck is throbbing in pain, but now I'm without stele and I won't be able to fix it.

"I fed you angel blood while you were in there... and now you're going to help me."

_Angel blood._

There is angel blood running through my veins.

And suddenly my whole life is explained.

I'm the experiment I always knew I was.

"Help you with _what?_" I spit at him.

"The war, of course. I must say, it was difficult getting you here. I don't know why I didn't try demon mist before. I thought I was going to have to wait until you came here with the Lightwoods and that Herondale boy."

So we're in Idris. There has to be some way out of this place. As I look around the room I see it more clearly. It looks more like a country house and I suspect it's the Morgenstern Manor. And I'm being kept in the dungeon.

My hands clench into fists and I get up off the floor. My mother has told me about this house. It's where I was supposed to grow up. I've even seen pictures.

This must be the library. It's not as big as the one in the New York Institute, but it's still fairly large. The wall where the door out to the rest of the house is, is full of pictures.

None have me in them. But they all have a little boy; if Valentine himself weren't in some of the pictures, I'd guess that _he_ was the little boy.

Suddenly I've forgotten all the dangers around me. I walk towards the pictures. "Who is that?" I whisper.

"Someone who died trying to find you. Your brother."

"What?" I don't know why I ask it. I'm not shocked at all. So I ask something else, "Did he have angel blood too?"

"There was always something more…" Valentine starts. "I knew our race could have so much more potential… so I fed him demon blood when he was inside your mother. He came out so well too. It was a shame to lose him."

I never even knew my brother. Who knows what demon blood could've done to him, but I never got to know. We were both just experiments.

"When I faked my death, I faked his too," Valentine continues. "He was doing all my dirty work for me, but he never got to finding you. He was killed by greater demons; one's that were looking for me. He never stood a chance."

I remember where I am again. I turn to face Valentine and find him looking longingly at the photographs on the wall. "There's no way in hell I'm helping you," I say.

His eyes turn so sharp I wonder if they're going to stab me dead. "Then I suppose I'll have to keep you down there a little longer."

I step towards him cautiously and put my hands on my hips. "You didn't exactly kidnap me in the best way. They've been watching; they'll know I'm missing and they'll start looking. What is this place? The Morgenstern Manor? Not exactly the most discreet hiding place if you ask me."

Valentine smiles and I know something is horribly wrong. "You've forgotten a detail… how do you suppose I brought these demons into Alicante? Answer; we are certainly in Idris, but not Alicante."

A little lightbulb goes off in my head and I know he's right; the family manors aren't located in Alicante at all, they're scattered around the Brocelind Forest.

The next thing I know I'm being dragged back down the stairs and thrown against the wall of a different cell.

I'm without stele, and very far away from any help.

I'm trapped.

**A/N - *evil laughter* AHEM- sorry. Don't worry, the next chapter is already done, so give me like, two days, at least.**

**Actually, let's make a deal. I'm 10 away from 100 followers, help get me there and I'll release the next chapter AND go back and make it longer. Deal?**

**Love y'all for all the wonderful reviews, keep it up! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N - hello again, and THANK YOU for getting this fic to 100 followers! As promised, I've gone back and made this fic longer by adding a little bit of Jace POV; so you'll get to see what happened at the NYC Institute when Clary disappeared. When we switch back the Clary's POV, that is what was originally written for this chapter. Thank you so so much for all of the lovely reviews and of course the 100 followers!**

**Disclaimer: yeah, you know.**

**Jace's POV**

I wake to a scream. Clary's scream. I bolt of out bed without a second thought and sprint down to the sanctuary where the scream came from, but it's too late.

The last of demon mist disappears and Clary is nowhere to be seen. My heart sinks down into my gut.

The rest of my family piles into the sanctuary behind me and start asking questions; but I can't hear them. I turn around and storm out the door, fury filling my veins. I should've heard Clary get up, I should've followed her outside. Then, she wouldn't be gone.

There's no question that it was Valentine. He finally got his hands on her. I wish I could say that I can't imagine what he could do to her, but I can. Valentine has proven he has no mercy; not when he created the Circle, not when he killed my parents in front of me. Just because she's his daughter, I know he wouldn't hesitate to hurt Clary.

I feel Alec following me back upstairs and don't try to turn and talk to him. He's my _parabatai_; he already knows my intentions, just not the extent.

The Clave won't do anything about this; that's for sure. They've tried to force me to train students in Alicante, without thinking about what that means for me.

And Clary.

She's made it clear to me; she doesn't feel safe in her own world.

Not with Valentine.

Not with the Clave.

Now I've lost her.

When we reach my room I automatically go to the closet and pull out a weapons belt and begin sheathing blades.

"Jace-"

"I'm not discussing it," I interrupt Alec.

"You can't just leave; you need to think about this. How do you even know where she went?"

I look at Alec now. "All I can think about is how scared she must be; what Valentine might be doing to her; that I should've been there-"

"Clary is a shadow-hunter," Alec interrupts me, now. "She can take care of herself. Mom is calling the Clave right now; they'll know what to do."

"The Clave won't do shit, and you know it... and if they get their hands on her, they may never let her go," my voice breaks.

Alec grabs my shoulders, forces me to focus. "_How will you find her, Jace?"_

I immediately grab my stele and go to Clary's room; ignoring that fact that Alec is trying to calm me down.

Once I'm in her room, I grab her hair brush and draw the tracking rune.

But when I close my eyes I see... nothing.

And then there's nothing I can do but sit back and _wait_.

I exit Clary's room and shut the door.

When we're in the hall, I'm not sure where to go next, but Izzy runs down towards us. Her eyes are red and puffy, the half-circles under her eyes dark. I reach out to her and she hugs me tight. No words pass between us until she backs up and looks at Alec and I.

"Mom needs everyone in the library; she just finished talking with the Clave."

**Clary's POV**

_I run through the tunnels. It's dark and cold, and I can hardly see a foot in front of me, but I need to get out and I run as fast as I can though the damp stone tunnels._

_Until I slam into a solid body. I try to cringe away but the arms grab me and I no longer want to leave. These arms are warm and familiar. _

"_Jace," I whisper. "I'm scared, Jace. I'm so scared."_

"_Shh. It's okay, Clary. It's okay."_

_I look up at him. I try to see his face but it's too dark, I can only make out an outline. _

_I feel his fingers brush against my neck and then I realize my neck is on fire, the agony is indescribable. I cry out to Jace. _

"_It's okay, it's okay," he says. He shifts and suddenly there is light and I can see his face. But it doesn't look like his face. This face is contorted in pain. _

"_Jace?"_

"_It's okay," he keeps saying. _

_The light is a stele in his hand. He's reaching for my bruised neck. _

"_I'm going to make it better," he says._

_I feel the sizzle as the stele touches my neck, and then it's gone. Everything is gone; the light, the dark, the warmth, the cold. I feel as though I'm falling._

And I jerk awake in a scream.

I need a way out.

Someone is coming down the stairs in response to my screams. I see nothing but a shadow until the figure is right outside my cell. It must be nighttime.

It's Valentine.

I wonder if my scream was loud enough to wake him wherever he is sleeping or whether he was just close enough to hear.

"Are you alright?" he asks softly. I almost believe he cares.

I want to curl up in the corner and cry, but I don't. I am a shadow-hunter.

I stand. "No," I say. "I'm not alright."

"What can I do?" I'm confused by how concerned he seems.

_This is my chance, _I think.

"Is there a bathroom somewhere around here?" I ask. _Please say yes._

"Uhhh," he hesitates.

"_I need to pee_," I say forcefully. It could be true, I've been here for probably 12 hours now. But I haven't been fed since I've been here and I try to ignore the pain in my stomach because of it.

He sighs. "Very well." He takes out a stele from his pocket. I'm almost surprised when it turns out not to be mine. But then I laugh at myself because of course he would have his own stele. I just wish I had mine.

He uses his stele to open the padlock on my cell and then leads me up the stairs. We emerge in the library and keep walking to the door on the wall of pictures. I'm surprised to find that the hallway beyond the door looks similar to any other. Eventually we get to the bathroom.

"I'll just wait outside," he says as I slip into the bathroom.

It's not huge, but it's not small either. A toilet beside the shower. A sink beside the toilet. A towel rack beside the door. And window across from the shower.

I maintain all the necessary noises while trying to get the window open and just before I leave, I flush the toilet and turn on the sink. As I jump out the window I wonder how long it may take for Valentine to realize I'm gone. But I take off before giving it a second thought because if I think for too long, it could hinder my escape.

I run as fast as my legs will carry me in an attempt to get away, but I have no idea which direction I'm running. Lake Lyn won't appear until I get out of Brocelind Forest on the right side. Unfortunately, if I had my stele, all of this could be avoided.

The Brocelind Forest is dangerous. Especially for a shadow-hunter with no weapons.

I could be attacked by a werewolf in here, or even better, a vampire.

I check where the moss is growing on the trees while still running away from the manor. I could have a ridiculous amount of demons on my heels this very second. I run north-east towards Alicante.

I ignore every sound that seems out of place. I can't think about the dangers of the forest, only the danger that could be not-too-far behind me.

Relief pours through me when the forest thins and sunlight leads the way. Now I have cover from vampires and demons. I see the river that runs from Lake Lyn to Alicante, but I'm not sure I can make it all the way to Alicante before sundown.

The sun, however, does not help the dehydration and Lake Lyn taunts me with its contaminated water. My feet drag as I walk along the length of Lake Lyn. Runes flash in my head; so many things that could help my situation, if only I had my stele.

After what feels like a lifetime, I see Alicante over the horizon and I start towards it. The sun is beginning to set but I know I can make it.

It's dark when I'm still about a mile away. I've never approached Alicante from the outside before, but I can't stop to take in its beauty as I feel my health deteriorating. Someone is running towards me; they're holding a seraph blade and I feel like I can trust them immediately. _They must be from the Clave, _my brain tells me, _they must be one of the guards of the city._

Relief surrounds me and I feel as though I may collapse.

The man approaches me. "Are you alright?" he asks.

My head feels heavy. "Do you have a stele?" I ask. "Please tell me you do."

He looks worried but then I hold up my right hand and show him my permanent voyance rune. He quickly pulls out a stele and I grab it, then draw a stamina rune on my arm. It works quickly and I feel myself gaining energy.

"What is your name, shadow-hunter?" he asks. He's at least ten years older than me and I'm sure he must know, but maybe that's how tired I look.

"Clarissa Adele Morgenstern," I tell him.

His eyes widen in recognition. "By the Angel." He turns towards the other shadow-hunters by the gates. "It's Clarissa!" he shouts. Then he turns and puts his hand on my back to lead me the rest of the way to Alicante.

Clave workers around me are scattering around saying words that I don't care to understand.

I turn to the man that led me safe inside Alicante. "Where's my mom?" I ask him. "Where's Luke?"

The man looks at me with pity, something I'm constantly shown for the brief periods of time I'm in Idris. "She's on her way," he tells me. "Along with Consul Penhallow."

Despite the stamina rune, I feel like I'm about to collapse. The world is spinning in front of me.

Someone, I think it's the same man, shouts, "Someone get some runes on her!"

Then a woman runs up next to me. "Clary. Clary, come on. Come sit down." Her voice is familiar and panicked.

Then I focus on her face. "Amatis." Her hands push me to the ground and I sit. "Is Luke here? Where's my mom?"

I feel the sizzle of a stele drawing a rune onto my arm. "It's alright, they're almost here."

As if on cue I hear Luke's voice. "Amatis?!" he calls.

Amatis moves from in front of me and I see Luke's face fill with relief, I wonder if mine does as well.

"Clary!" He runs towards Amatis and I and I get up just in time for Luke to hug me tightly. I don't even care that it almost hurts. I just care that it's warm and comforting.

I burry my face into Luke's jacket and everything floods back to me. I wonder if my stamina rune has worn off already because I'm so tired.

Then I start to cry. My lungs heave as I stain Luke's jacket with tears.

Luke holds me tight and tries to tell me that I'm safe and everything is okay.

I feel as though I can't even support myself with my own legs anymore. Luke notices and hauls me up into his arms; cradling me as though I'm five again with my arms around his neck and my legs around his torso.

I hear my mother call my name and I only peak over Luke's shoulder to see her, but we make eye contact and she runs over to Luke and I and she strokes my hair and tell me everything is going to be okay.

Everything is not okay. It is all very, very bad.

**A/N - yay! Clary is safe! We knew she could handle herself! ;) **

**How did Clary get away so easily? What are the Lightwoods up to? Will Max ever take his test?! **

**Don't forget to follow and review! Love y'all! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - OMG Y'ALL I"M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE 2 WEEKS. Where did my time go?! Seriously though, for like a week every morning I'd get up and be all "okay Emily, you have to put up that next chapter today, don't let the people down." And then I go to bed at night like "shit Emily, you forgot... just remember to do it tomorrow."**

**OKAY I WON'T KEEP YOU WAITING ANY LONGER. As a refresher, Clary has escaped from Valentine and is now back in Idris with Jocelyn and Luke. **

**Disclaimer: themortalinstrumentbelongstoqueencassieisimplyborrowhercharacters**

I wake up in my own bed in my own room for the first time in quite a while.

Today I have to meet with the Clave and go over everything that has happened. I'm not even sure if they know I was with my insane biological father.

The Lightwoods and Jace are coming back to Idris for their own safety and to keep Max from getting too shaken up about the whole situation. Unfortunately, his test date remains the same.

I haven't eaten or drank anything since escaping... someone put a few nourishment runes on me last night, but they've faded now. I can smell someone cooking in the kitchen and I slowly get up from my bed and pad downstairs.

Luke's making waffles.

He looks up as I sit at the breakfast bar. "How're you feeling?"

"Less hungry when you feed me," I reply with a smile.

He studies me. "You don't want to talk about anything before meeting with the Clave?"

I think about it for a minute. "When are the Lightwoods getting here?" is what comes out of my mouth.

Luke looks surprised. "Umm, a couple hours, probably."

I'm suddenly anxious and excited all at the same time. And I just want to see Jace and kiss him and-

I have to tell Luke and my mom about him. I was just kidnapped by Valentine and escaped, and apparently telling my parents that I have a legitimate boyfriend is what has me the most worried.

"When's mom coming down?"

Luke's eyebrows furrow together. "Are you sure you're okay? You're a little antsy."

I'm already finished my breakfast. "Yeah, I'm fine." I jump down from the breakfast bar and head towards the front door. "I'm just going for a walk," I call back.

"You're not going anywhere." I'm just reaching for the door when I hear my mom.

I sigh. There is no fighting with her; she's not easily moved. I walk back into the kitchen. My mom sits at the breakfast bar.

I don't really remember the night before. Just exhaustion and crying and seeing my mom for the first time in a while. She looks different; older.

"How are you doing, Clary?" she asks when I sit back down beside her.

I don't make eye contact. "I'm okay." It's not a lie. But so many things are rushing through my head at once. So many questions I have to ask. But only one is really sticking. "Why didn't you tell me I had a brother?"

Mom's eyes widen. She doesn't look sad, she looks terrified. It takes her a moment to compose herself before replying, "he was never my son. Valentine used him for some sick experiment."

Hurt washes through me. "Right. A sick experiment," I whisper. I'm not sure that she hears me.

When my mom wraps her arm around me and tells me that it's okay, because I'm her daughter, I don't feel it. It's odd to go through life without knowing something about yourself. Then, when you discover it, your whole life seems different. But it's not – not really. You're still the same person, you just feel different.

I'd always known that Valentine had done something to me, but it never felt true.

Anger and hurt fill my veins. "You know I have angel blood." I don't ask it, because she had to have known. All the weird rune talents, she must have suspected where they came from. "I'm a _sick experiment_ just as much as my brother was."

She realizes her mistake then. "Oh, Clary-"

I jump down from my stool and start to the door.

"Where are you going?" Mom calls to me.

"For a walk!" I yell back. Then I'm out the door.

I've probably been out too long but once an hour has passed I know the Lightwoods will be coming through the portal shortly and I don't see the point in going back home.

People stare as I walk down the streets of Alicante. Not the normal stares, the kind the make you want to zip up your sweater and pull the hood over your head. It's not until I stand on one of the many bridges in Alicante and stare at my reflection in a canal that I realize I have massive bruises on my neck from Valentine strangling me.

It feels like forever ago that it happened.

I head to the Gard where the only Portal in Idris is located. It'll be where the Lightwoods come through.

I wait even longer and then Luke and Mom are walking towards me and I stand.

Luke is the one to tell me that the Lightwoods will be coming through soon; Mom and I don't make eye contact.

The doors to the Gard finally crack open and I'm relieved to see the Lightwoods walk through and trailing behind them, Jace.

They all see me; Max and Izzy and Alec are all running towards me and I'm running towards them. Their love surrounds me in a group hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Clary," Izzy says. "You have no ideas we were so worried." Her voice cracks and her eyes are filled with moisture.

Max's arms wrap around my torso and I've never been so glad to see the kid in my life. He doesn't even say anything, but I can tell he's trying not to cry and I embrace him back.

Alec gives me a strong, warm hug. "How are you feeling?" he asks, concern ridden all over his face.

I smiled at him. "I'm okay."

Max still hasn't let go of my torso and I hear Jace's voice from behind me. "Come on, kid, everyone wants a chance to hug the pretty girl." I've never been so happy to hear his sarcastic tone before.

Max releases me and I turn to see Jace's golden eyes. He smiles sadly. I take a few quick steps towards him and his arms wrap around my waist and as he straightens my feet lift off the ground. I hug him so tightly I'm worried the muscles in my arms might hurt tomorrow but I don't care.

I don't realize I'm crying until I see the wet mark I've left on Jace's shirt.

"I missed you Clary," he whispers into my ear. "I was so worried. Your scream woke everyone up and then you were just gone."

I just bury my face into his shoulder. "It was horrible, Jace," I admit into his shoulder. I squeeze him tighter. "I missed you so much."

His grip starts to loosen and my feet are on the ground again. His face is right next to mine and I can feel his breath on my ear. When I turn my head our lips meet instantly. I crave more but Jace pulls away after we kiss just once, and that's when I remember all the other people around us. I suspect I'd blush if I cared.

Jace's thumbs brush under my eyes as he wipes away the moisture my tears left behind.

"How's your neck?" he asks.

I shrug. "It doesn't hurt. I just didn't get a rune on it fast enough to take away the bruising."

Jace frowns, his eyebrows pull together.

"What?" I ask.

His face smoothes out. "Nothing," his voice drops. "I believe we have an audience."

I glance behind me. Maryse and my mom are standing at an awkward distance while everyone else looks as though their trying very hard not to look in our direction.

I clear my throat and everyone turns to look at Jace and I. "Mom, Luke, you know Jace Herondale," I say, trying my best to keep it as least awkward as possible.

Mom nods and smiles. "Nice to see you again, Jace."

Luke steps forward to shake Jace's hand. "It's good to meet the second best shadow-hunter of his age."

Jace laughs.

I freeze. I can't help it; Jace _is_ the best shadow-hunter of his age now because I'm not actually me; I'm just high on angel blood all the time. I feel like doubling-over, like someone punched me in the stomach.

Luke's face falls. "Clary-"

I swallowed hard. "No it's fine, I'm just gonna head over to the Clave. I've got a meeting soon."

I try to back away but my eyes lock with my mom's and I feel like I can't move. "Clary," she says. "You can't do this now."

I kept my eyes connected with hers. "It's too bad you didn't have the decency to tell me before I was kidnapped by my father."

I feel all eyes on me, but I don't care.

"You need to calm down, Clary. You know-"

"No," I interrupt. "_You_ know exactly what's going to happen next."

Her eyes turn sad. I should feel guilty but I know it's true. At the meeting I'll have to go through every detail ever, and I'm positive they'll lock me up.

"They're bringing in Clave members from all over the world, you know," Luke says. "Neither of you know what's going to happen in there."

My eyes shift over to Luke. "I really hope you're right."

**A/N - such drama! I love it when y'all take the time to let me know what you thought of each chapter, so thanks so much for reviewing; it always makes me smile to hear wonderful things! New chapter SOON!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N - alright, friends, here you are! I don't think I have anything specific to tell you about this chapter, so I'll let you get right on in!**

**Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns The Mortal Instruments, of course. **

Two of the eight people I'm surrounded by are not eligible to attended the meeting.

Izzy's already taken Max home. Before she left she made me promise to tell her everything when we get back to the house. I didn't want to talk about it before her and Max left, but I hope that it being forced out of me by the Mortal Sword will make it easier to repeat later.

Maryse, Robert, Jace, and Alec have already gone into the meeting room inside the Gard to prepare.

Mom and Luke stay with me. They haven't been invited to take part in my evaluation, and to stay out of the room.

I'm about to walk in and my mom stops me.

"Just- co-operate with them," she says.

I laugh. "Don't worry mom… but I probably won't."

But she doesn't laugh with me. "I'm serious Clary, don't make it worse."

As I walk into the circular room, I realize she's right. I wonder how many people in the room wish I were locked up. I don't want to give them another reason for it.

Awaiting me is all citizens of Alicante, 18 and older, and the head of every institute along with Consul Penhallow and Inquisitor Aldertree.

I find Jace in the swarm of Clave members and he gives me an encouraging nod.

Consul Penhallow approaches me. "We're happy you could make it, Clarissa." Her voice echoes through the room despite the fact it isn't raised at all.

I force myself not to roll my eyes and say "it's Clary." Instead I say, "Thank you, Consul Penhallow."

She nods and goes to sit in her regular spot. Then Inquisitor Aldertree approaches me holding the Mortal Sword. I hold out my hands, palm up and he places it in my hands. The Mortal Sword does not feel as heavy in your hands as it does on your chest. A certain energy courses through me as I hold the sword.

They get right to the questioning.

"How were you kidnapped by Valentine?" Aldertree asks.

The pressure on my chest forces the answer out. "I went outside and the demon mist was everywhere, it grew so thick I couldn't see and then I was knocked out."

"Did you have permission from the Silent Brothers like we'd arranged?"

I glare at him as I answer, "No." But then I keep going without being forced. "I was just going out to the back garden, I was still on institute grounds."

"But not hallowed ground," I heard someone say in the swarm of shadow-hunters around me. I turn and glare at them, but I do not recognize their face.

"Where did Valentine take you?" Aldertree continues.

"The Morgenstern Manor. I didn't realize we were there until he brought me up from the cell in the basement."

"How did you escape?" he asks. Then I know I can't hide it, I can feel the truth starting to rush out of me, forcing me to tell them of my attempted escape before the real one.

I find Jace in the crowd and lock my eyes with him. He already knows about my weird rune-powers. I pretend he's the only one in the room and my chest lightens. "The first time I tried to escape I had my stele, and I drew a rune on the bars. They exploded and a sharpened piece impaled one of the demons there, but I was only able to get out of the basement."

I don't dare to look at everyone else's expressions in the room. I keep my eyes on Jace.

"I escaped after that by climbing through a window and running away," I continue.

Jace smiles warmly and nods. I take it as a cue to break eye contact and look at Penhallow and Aldertree. Both their eyes are wide.

"You blew off the bars of a cell… with a rune?" Consul Penhallow asks and I curse her for making her shock a question, because I'm forced to answer it.

"Yes."

Aldertree steps towards me. "What rune?"

I try to suppress the truth coming out of me and the pressure against my chest increases. I cough hard and I see Jace flinch in the corner of my eye. Eventually it comes out. "A rune my head came up with," I say to make the pressure go away.

I can feel the chaos around me before it begins. I hear some questioning whether the Mortal Sword has been replaced with a fake. Some are sitting silent and stunned. Some are wondering the truth – if Valentine did some kind of crazy shit to me.

It's too many questions around me; I can't answer them all. The pressure tightens and I fall to my knees, coughing. The Mortal Sword sticks to my palms and I cannot remove it myself.

I hear the doors to the room opening and my mom's voice floats around me. Finally, the Inquisitor lifts the Mortal Sword off my hands. As the pressure goes away I feel like I can concentrate.

I get up from my knees and I look over at Jace. He's standing, but Alec is holding his arm back. I give them both a nod to tell them I'm okay. My mother is still beside me, her arm wraps around my shoulder.

"By the Angel!" Consul Penhallow shouts, her voice rocks the room and everyone falls quiet. "I've never seen so much disrespect at a Clave meeting!"

She turns back to me. I decide I like Consul Penhallow. She is calm despite the disarray. "Are you alright to take the Mortal Sword again?"

I nod and shrug off my mother's arm. No one tells her to leave and she stays beside me.

"Do you know why you have these abilities, Clarissa?" she asks after Aldertree puts the sword back in my palms.

"Yes," I say. "Valentine fed my mother angel blood while she was pregnant with me. An opposite to when he fed my brother demon blood."

I almost laugh at the gasps around the room; the widened eyes.

"What else did Valentine tell you while you were at the Manor?" Aldertree asks.

"That he wanted to create a superior shadow-hunter race with my brother, who died trying to look for me while I was in hiding. And that he needed my help with a war," I answer.

It feels as though the room is threatening to erupt into chaos again, but I suspect Consul Penhallow's reaction to the last incident is stopping them.

"I believe that is all the questions we have to ask you, Clarissa," Consul Penhallow says. "Now, if you could wait with your mother outside until we bring you back in."

I don't say anything or look at anyone as the sword is taken off my hands and I walk out of the room with my mom trailing behind.

Luke is right outside the door. "Are you okay?"

I nod. "Yeah, everything is great. I really feel like I know myself a lot better since the Mortal Sword attacked my brain." Sarcasm is practically dripping down my body.

"_That's_ what all that commotion was?" My sarcasm doesn't even phase Luke.

"It turns out that people tend to freak out when they find out you can create destructive runes."

"_Clarissa_," my mom scolds.

I look at her. "Don't '_Clarissa'_ me. What have you done to help?"

"Clary!" Luke is scolding now. "Jocelyn and I have done all we can to keep you safe."

"It obviously isn't working."

_Clarissa Adele Morgenstern_, I hear. I expected my mother to start scolding me but when I turn around I find Brother Zachariah in the doorway I've just come through. I hadn't even seen him in the room.

"Wow I never thought I'd hear my name so many times in thirty seconds."

_We've come to a verdict_, Brother Zachariah says. _You may come back in_.

I check the walls around myself and find them solid. I'm ready for whatever may happen.

**A/N - Thanks, as always, for all the love, this story isn't coming to an end just yet! New chapter soon!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N - y'all were so anxious about last chapter's cliff hanger so here's your answer!**

**Disclaimer - Cassandra Clare owns The Mortal Instruments, I just borrow the characters**

Consul Penhallow stands in the center of the room. I feel all eyes on me as I approach her.

I don't dare look at Jace or any of the Lightwoods in the room, I'm afraid their faces may give something away. Some twisted part of my mind wants it to be a surprise.

"The majority agree Valentine let you go on purpose, Clarissa," is the first thing Consul Penhallow says. "We think he wanted you to tell us of this war he is planning. I am part of the majority.

"As for you, I believe you are a huge asset to our community. However, I am proposing an outlaw on experimenting with blood of anyone from the shadow-world to assure that nothing like this happens again."

It stings, but I force myself to accept it. And at the end of the day, I know they're really thinking of the demon blood in my brother and whatever Angel suffered to get its blood into me.

"Lastly, I ask for your help when Valentine comes around and that you stay in Alicante until then so we can watch you."

There's no question in her voice. She knows I will not refuse, I can't. Not because it's the Clave asking me, but because I'm a shadow-hunter and it's my duty to help them fight when Valentine comes around.

"I will," I say.

"You will continue training Maxwell Lightwood with Jace Herondale as his testing date remains the same. We can only hope that nothing occurs before then," Consul Penhallow finishes. "You are dismissed."

I nod and then turn. Mom and Luke were hovering by the door the whole time, and they look pleased with the Clave's final decision. But I don't feel any lighter. I'm glad they're not gonna lock me up and do weird experiments or something on me, but the burden is still there.

When we're back outside, Luke speaks. "I told you two it would both work out."

Mom smiles at him. "I'm glad it did."

I hear the doors to the Gard burst open behind me. Alec stocks out and Jace is following behind him. I stop and watch them.

"Alec!" Jace shouts. "What's the big deal if I'm turning them down?"

Alec stops and spins in place to face Jace. "You could have just told me! Why'd you have to wait until the freaking bomb went off during a _Clave meeting?_"

I realize then that Jace never mentioned his tutor offer to Alec. I had told him he shouldn't accept it when he told me about it. Now I feel bad for Alec because Jace really shouldn't have left him in the dark.

"By the Angel, Jace," Alec continues. "You don't think about anyone but yourself, do you?" He stalks away quick enough so that he doesn't see the look on Jace's face.

But I see both their faces. Alec looks gut-wrenching-guilty and Jace looks like someone punched him in the stomach.

I watch Jace as he rubs his hands over his face and through his hair before going back inside the Gard.

I know Alec isn't purposely walking towards me, but there's no way he can get home without going by. When he brushes past me I try to catch up but his legs are a lot longer than mine.

"Alec!" I call out to him. "You're just gonna walk right past me after that?"

"Yeah, I am," he shoots back without turning or slowing down. If anything, he speeds up.

I run full out until I pass him and then stop and block his way.

"_Clary_, I just want to go," he says, stopping a few feet away from me.

"Come on, Alec," I say, keeping my voice light.

Alec laughs half-heartedly. "You're defending him and you probably don't even know what the context is…" he trails off and I know I'm big trouble; my face must've given me away. "_You already knew._" He throws up his hands. "Of _course_ you already knew! I'm glad this straightens it out, my _parabatai_ cares more about is girlfriend of what – one week?"

I sigh. "Alec-"

"Oh sorry, yeah. I forgot about your little hook-up."

My hands clench into fists at my sides. "That's low and you know it."

But it doesn't phase Alec. "When did he tell you?"

"He didn't tell me at all, I just talked to him about it." I can tell he doesn't believe me, though. "Consul Penhallow told me after your mom called the Clave when Jace got hurt."

His face falls. "My _mom_ knew? Everyone knew except me; and you all thought you were like… what? Protecting me or something?"

My hands unclench. "We just figured there wasn't any point."

"Just because I had a hard time when we were kids doesn't mean I'm fragile now, okay?"

I nod and then he stalks past me and back to the house. I can only guess what may happen when everyone gets back. The Lightwoods don't actually have a permanent residence in Alicante, so they're staying at ours.

Jace had told me that he and Alec had known each other their whole lives. Apparently Jace had asked Alec to become his _parabatai _as soon as it was possible to begin training.

Sometimes I forget that Alec struggled so much when we were kids. It was almost like Max's situation, except Alec had lost all of his friends. Apparently Jace was the only one who stuck around.

Once Alec disappears along the horizon, I turn to see the Gard doors open again in the distance. Luke and my mom are still by the Gard, talking. Robert and Maryse come out and make conversation with them and I search for Jace in the crowd.

When I do notice him he looks devastated. He doesn't even notice me as I approach him, walking with his head down and hands in his pockets.

"Jace?"

He looks him from the ground. When he sees me, he takes his hands out of his pockets and pulls me into him then buries his face in my hair. I wrap my arms around his torso.

"I saw what happened outside," I say to him. "I talked to Alec, but he's not very happy that I knew, too." I decide not to mention that he knows that Maryse knew as well.

Jace groans. "There's more to it," he mumbles. His head is still on top of mine.

"What? What happened?"

He pulls away, looks around us, and then grabs my hand. He leads me away from the crowd of shadow-hunters still loitering around the Gard and into an alleyway.

"They're persistent people, Clary. They told me to think about it. When I told them I'd made my decision and didn't want to leave my _parabatai, _they insisted that Alec stay, too." He looks so frustrated I think he might pull his hair out.

I grab his hands and lace his fingers with mine. "You need to talk to Alec."

He averts his eyes down and nods. "I know…" he trails off.

I tighten my grip on his hands. He is silent for a minute, but when he looks back up at me, he is smiling.

"What?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "You're not the person I thought you were two years ago, that's all."

"And I hope that's a good thing?"

"Yeah," he says. "It is. I just can't believe you haven't brought it up once."

I'm so confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You're not coming back to New York. And you haven't mentioned me staying in Alicante once. I'm beginning to think you don't want me around."

I look down. Just because I haven't mentioned it doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. Of course I want Jace to stay with me, but I can't force him to.

His hands slip out of mine and they soon cup around my face, forcing me to meet his eyes.

"I missed you," I tell him. "Not just what happened… these past two years; I missed you."

His eyes darken as he brings his face closer to mine. "You have no idea."

Our lips meet slowly and softly, and Jace's hands slide from my face to my shoulders, to my waist. He pulls me against him and our lips turn from whispers to fire. My fingers tangle themselves in his hair.

Kissing Jace is like feeling all his emotions pouring out of his soul and into mine. It feels like fire and ice and everything good in the world.

His lips steal themselves from mine and glide across my jaw line and down to my collarbone. I tilt my head back, encouraging them on. When they find themselves back at mine my hands fall from his hair and lay flat against his chest. I tug on his shirt and grab a fistful of the fabric, wishing it wasn't between us. Meanwhile, his hands start slipping under my shirt and tickle the skin there, as if he is thinking the same thing.

But we can't do this, I think. Not here, not now.

I break away from Jace, but his lips move to my jaw again.

"Jace," I say. I try to sound forceful but it only comes out a whisper. I try again, "Jace, we can't do this here."

He stops. His lips continue to linger on my jaw, but his hands are limp and move themselves so they're not on my bare skin. "You're right," he says, backing his face away. "I'm sorry."

I stare straight ahead, looking at my hands against his chest. "We should head back to the house."

Jace's hands leave my waist and then they're in my line of vision and holding my hands. "I have to talk to Alec…"

I look up at him to find him nervous, then perch on my toes and kiss his jaw. "I have to talk to Iz, too, so you take one and I'll take the other."

"You'll take Alec?" he asks, feigning relief.

I laugh and take one of his hands to put between us as we take the streets of Alicante. "Let's go."

**A/N - I'm so sad to announce that this is the last chapter**

**.**

**JUST KIDDING **

**No, but I am sad that is one of the last chapters. this fic is slowly coming to a conclusion, there are a few more chapters as well as an epilogue that I'm currently working on. **

**Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, as always I'm so thankful for your encouragement and enthusiasm over this fic! This fic will definitely over by November, because I'll be participating in NaNoWriMo (which I won last year, yay!) and I don't want this on my plate as well. **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N - I really love this chapter, and I hope you too! In this one we're building up to... something ;)**

**dislcaimer: cassie clare own the mortal instruments, I just borrow her wonderful characters**

Once we enter the house, it all feels real again.

As I tell Iz about the meeting, she just seems relieved that I'm not in trouble or being locked up. We go into the sitting room to find Luke and Robert talking and my Mom and Maryse looking awkward. Max sits in the farthest chair from the adults with his nose stuck in a book. Jace and Alec must still be discussing their future _parabatai_ plans.

I wait for a pause in Luke and Robert's conversation.

"I was going to go take Max to the training centre," I say to no one in particular. "Let Jace know he can meet us there."

No one really responds except Max; the only one who doesn't know the specifics of what's going on. I envy him.

The New York Institute has the biggest training room as far as Institutes go, but the ones in Alicante will always be my favourite. They're the ones I've been training in my whole life. I know the training rooms in Alicante better than the back of my hand, and I knew the perfect place to take Max.

Alicante's training rooms are located in a giant warehouse – unlike every other old fashioned thing in the city, it just looks like a warehouse from the outside. Inside, it's sectioned off into rooms that train you on various skills. It's located down the street from the Shadowhunter Academy – currently not in much use since The Circle.

I take Max to the room I was trained in – it's always equipped with the newest weapons and is the biggest of the rest of the rooms in the warehouse.

Iz comes to the training centre with us and as we make our way through, they gape at the expanse that is the warehouse as I try to ignore all the staring eyes.

"Excuse me?" I hear from behind me. "Clarissa Morgenstern, right?"

I turn, wondering how someone around here needs confirmation of who I am. It's nice for once, actually. "It's just Clary."

A teenage boy stands behind me, looking lanky and confused. "Can you tell me where room 205 is?"

I point a finger behind him. "Just down the hall."

He salutes casually and thanks me before heading down the hall.

I turn back towards my training room and Izzy grabs my arm. "_Who was that?"_

I shrug.

"But they tell you _everything_."

I laugh. "They're ascending a lot of people lately, Iz. It could be anyone."

"He is _cute_."

"Well… you know where he's going to be…"

Her eyes glaze over and she squeezes my arm before taking off after the unknown shadow-hunter.

Iz hasn't dated anyone in a while – or rather, she hasn't dated a shadow-hunter in a while. I laugh to myself as she runs off.

Once walking behind Iz and I, Max moves to walk beside me. I can't help but realize that I missed him a lot while Valentine had me locked up. I put a hand around his shoulder and tug him to my side.

"Uh Clary?"

"Yeah Max?"

"I missed you and stuff but you're squeezing me really hard."

I just pull him tighter against me until we get to the last door at the end of the hall. "Here we are," I push him in front of me. "Go ahead."

The room looks exactly the same, save the small layer of dust on everything. My best guess is that no one has trained in here since the last time I did; not too long, but long enough.

"Alright, Max. Let's get started."

"You aren't gonna do that without me are you? I'm hurt."

I turn to look at Jace. "I figured you find your own way."

"They tutor the greatest in here Max," Jace says. "I promise you'll be one-hundred-percent confident in your test by training in here." He looks around the room, confused. "I thought Izzy was with you."

"She's found herself a newly ascended shadow-hunter."

"Poor kid."

After training, we head back to the house.

My mom sits in the kitchen, a mug of tea in front of her. I stop in my tracks when I see her. Jace squeezes my hand before following Max up the stairs. I catch his eye before he puts his back to me and give him the I-can't-believe-you're-leaving-me-here look.

He ignores me.

"Clarissa-"

"I'd rather not, mom."

"That's just too bad then because you are not allowed to leave this house again until we talk."

"You can't force me to stay here like… like-"

"Like mundanes? Too bad."

"Mom; I _really_ don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Her expression turns from angry to pity and I hate it. "I'm sorry-"

I start shaking my head before she can finish. "Don't. Don't feel sorry for me. I don't want anyone taking pity on me because my psycho father experimented on me. The person we should feel sorry for is my dead demon brother who shouldn't have been catering to my dad his whole life."

"Oh Clary."

I don't stick around to hear what else she has to say. Instead I run upstairs to my room like a 5 year old. If I'm house arrest, then fine; I'll stay in the house.

I can't stop the tears that come once I shut the door. I grab a pillow off my bed and sit on the floor beside it facing the bathroom. If anyone walks in, there's no way I want them to see me like this.

It feels like I'm holding the Mortal Sword again. Like there's a huge weight pressing against my chest, my head, my stomach. I try to force the pain out and tears keep flowing and I feel like I'm choking. I _sound_ like I'm choking.

Then it becomes too much. My stomach heaves and I run to the bathroom to empty my stomach of the little breakfast I ate this morning.

I hear footsteps come into the bathroom, light and familiar. I'm shaking and tears continue to silently roll down my face.

He sits down beside me and I try to fold myself as small as I can against him.

"You should leave," I tell him with a shaky voice. "I look gross."

When he laughs, the sound vibrates against me. "That's a pretty lame excuse."

I don't know why, but it makes me cry more.

He pulls me tighter against him.

"D-don't feel s-sorry for me," I say, and then bury my face into his shirt. "I'm tired of th-that."

He says things like, "shh, it's okay," and, "I'm here, I love you."

Eventually it stops. I wish I could just pretend to fall asleep, but I can't. I'm a shadow-hunter. I fight.

I get up from beside Jace; brush my teeth, wash my face, pull my matted hair up into a pony tail, go back into my room, rummage in my drawers for my gear.

Jace stands in the bathroom doorway, his arms folded. "You can't ignore it, Clary."

"I'm not," I tell him. "I'm fighting it."

He smirks. "How?"

"I'm going to the Clave, and if they refuse to fight with me, I'm going back to Morgenstern Manor."

Jace smiles wider and moves to leave the room. "Don't leave without me."

My mom is the one to catch us on our way out the door.

"Where are you two going?" she asks.

"Just to train," I answer innocently.

"Weren't you there all afternoon with Max?"

"Yeah, but I really wanted to see it." Suddenly I hear Alec's voice from behind me and I turn to find him and Iz standing behind me, also dressed in gear.

"You're training in gear?" Mom asks.

"Yeah, they're getting all the kids to do it now, we figured we'd try it out," Iz answers.

"Alright then, be back for dinner."

I bolt out the door without another word.

"I'm not even going to ask how you two found out we were going anywhere," I say once we're a safe distance from the house.

"Well Jace told me-" Alec starts.

"But I didn't expect you to come."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I just knew," Iz says matter-of-factly.

I roll my eyes.

"You'll really never grow out of that, will you?"

"Grow out of _what_?" I ask.

"Rolling your eyes."

"Whatever."

Iz puts an arm around my shoulder. Jace and Alec's long legs put them a few feet in front of us, but she stays behind with me and my short legs.

Suddenly I feel horrible for letting Jace, Alec, and Iz follow me in this. I know The Clave will refuse to go after Valentine. I know this is basically a suicide mission.

Why did I bring the people I couldn't bear to lose?

I stuff my hands in my pockets so I don't fiddle with them.

"Are you sure you want to come?" I ask quietly. "I can do it on my own."

Jace and Alec stop ahead of us and turn to look at me.

"Do you really think we would let you go on your own?" Iz asks.

"You know it's a suicide mission. If The Clave refuses to go after him, then I'm going after him myself."

"We know that," Alec answers.

"Then why are you coming? I don't want you to get hurt."

"Because _we_ don't want _you_ to get hurt. You know, strength in numbers."

"But-"

Izzy interrupts me, "no way, it's all of us or none of us." Then she starts ahead.

Alec follows her and this time Jace stays back with me and my short legs. He links his fingers between mine and squeezes my hand.

I squeeze back. Hard.

"Don't worry, okay? We've all got each other's backs."

I don't reply, we just keep walking to the Gard.

**A/N - I promise not to make you wait to long for the last few chapters (yeah that's all that's left). It's all done except for the Epilogue, which I want to make sure if perfect. Love y'all for being so awesome and giving lots of love. NaNoWriMo is starting soon, and if you'd like to add me as a buddy, I'll put my participant link on my profile! **

**3 **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N - I can now confirm that there are only two chapters left including the epilogue for you. I'm kinda sad, but I do have another TMI fic possibly coming up set a few years after City of Heavenly Fire. **

**One more thing before this chapter... don't hate me. Promise? kay, go on.**

**(dislcaimer: cassandra clare owns shadow-hunters, I just borrow them.)**

My life has been built on passion.

My parents had passion for each other. My father has passion for the good of Nephilim. He put that passion into me and now I have the passion to stop him.

In all the years that I've been watched over by The Clave, I've never stepped foot in the Consul's office unannounced. It feels too casual for something so not-casual.

I feel myself start to hesitate and want someone to slap me in the face. When we get to the door I just walk right in and feel my confidence start to go up.

"Consul Penhallow-"

I stop in my tracks.

And pull out a dagger.

Valentine.

Everyone tenses behind me.

"I really expected more from you, Clarissa. Did you really think you could run away?"

"Where's the Consul?" Jace asks. I tense at his voice and reach my arm out in front of him – to shield him somehow, I guess.

Valentine laughs and gets off his perch on the desk. "Jace Herondale. Last of the Herondale's… I suppose you're good for Clarissa. You would've been wonderful in The Circle; such a passionate fighter."

I angle my dagger towards Valentine.

"It's too bad," he continues, "the Consul is dead. Now she can't warn everyone of their impending doom."

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Once the demon towers are down, I'm here to watch the invasion."

The Consul's office is the size of the first floor of a middle class home. The desk sits in the very middle, facing the double door entrance. Behind it, the biggest window in Alicante; looking over the city.

Just like that, the demon towers stop glowing and the only thing lighting Alicante is the sun disappearing over the mountains.

"Not long now," I hear Valentine mutter under his breath.

My left hand is clenched so hard, my palm starts to sting wear my nails dig in. I can see people coming out of their homes, realizing the wards are down. But they aren't as high as us. They can't see the black cloud emerging from Brocelind Forest.

There is no warning anyone. Controls to the demon towers are in Valentine's hands, and there's no way to make them red.

The doors slam shut behind us and in comes two Ravener demons. We turn and unsheathe our seraph blades and attack them.

I can feel Valentine watching us the whole time. Each one of us has our own strengths and weakness, but I can feel him watching me, especially. Because this is the first time he's really gotten to see his experiment in action.

Because his experiment with demon blood failed, so why wouldn't he want to study the one with angel blood.

Because I don't really think he considers me his daughter.

Because he thinks of me as 'the one with the angel blood.'

By the time the greater demons vanish back to their own dimension, I can hear the cries of shadow-hunters; realizing that their city is being invaded by demons.

Valentine has turned to the window, watching the chaos below. Enjoying it.

I watch Alec run to the doors, but they are locked with demonic runes.

We're trapped.

I approach Valentine. I feel my friends close behind me; ready to back me up.

I think of my mom and Luke, Maryse and Robert, and little Max. I hope they got a head start. I hope they realized what was happening before it happened.

"You can't do this," I say.

"What makes you say that, Clarissa?"

"What makes _you_ want to extinguish your own species?"

He laughs. "Not all of them, of course. Just the weak ones. The ones who live are the most important; the strongest."

"The strongest are strong because they don't give in; what makes you think you'll be able to control them?"

"Fear."

I lunge after him.

But he is more experienced than me and I'm thrown against the doors. Hard.

The back of my head hits the doors and I fall until my forehead hit the titled floor.

My vision goes black for a second and when it comes back it's blurry around the edges. All I can hear is the pounding of blood in my ears.

I hear Jace fighting Valentine, when I look up Isabelle is hovering over me, Alec is shadowing Jace. Valentine and Jace are locked in a dance.

My mind flashes; searching for an answer.

A way out.

I struggle up to my feet, ignoring Isabelle's hand stretched out to help me.

I can't hear anything and I'm not sure that anything is happening behind me anymore.

The demon runes on the door change as I press my stele to them. They begin to interlock. When it's done, I stare at the pattern in front of me in awe and then the floor collapses beneath my feet.

When I come to, I can hear it, underneath all this rumble and ash, I can still hear it.

The screams of children as their city becomes infested with demons.

The sun has disappeared completely and I hear people moving around above me, on top of the rumble. I can't have been the only one knocked out, the sun was still out when I collapsed the building.

I hear my name being called over and over by Jace and push the ruble off of me. I climb out and stand on top of the pile of wood and brick.

I've destroyed the Gard.

I look around and the first thing I notice is someone got the demon towers to glow red, as they should.

The second thing I notice is all the shadow hunters fighting off all the demons.

The third thing I notice is that none of them come after us. Jace, Alec, Iz, Valentine, and I. We're all alive after the collapse and standing on top of the Gard's remains.

I feel Iz press the tip of her stele against me. I don't look to see what runes she's given me, but they make me feel good.

I watch shadow-hunters try to get to the demon towers and put the wards back up – there are less dead bodies on the streets then I feared and I let myself feel relieved that Valentine hasn't summoned enough demons.

"I can always summon more, you know!" he shouts over the chaos, as if able to read my mind. His voice travels the ten feet between us.

"You'll be long dead before you get a chance to do that."

When I go after him this time, I am a fighter. I am not an experiment.

I am Clarissa Adele Morgenstern. I am a shadow-hunter.

I do what I've been teaching Max this past month.

The collapse caused me to lose all my daggers, and I find myself forced to use a seraph blade.

When it goes through Valentine's chest, he bursts into flames.

I can't remember how I did it and I'm not sure what kind of shape I'm in now. I feel numb all over as I stand and watch Valentine collapse onto the heap of remains that catch on fire with him.

There is a hand on my arm, pulling me away and off the mountain of remains of the Gard.

"They're gathering everyone in the Accords Hall," I hear Alec say.

I'm pulled away from the fire, but I can still feel its heat on my back.

"She needs an _iratze_," Iz says.

"She needs a lot more than that, Iz," Alec says. "I think she might be in shock."

I think Alec might be right.

The hand on my arms moves to my back. It gently pushes me forward to the Accords Hall. The inside is lit up with witchlight. I wonder what time it is. Very late at night, I suspect.

I'm sitting on the cool marble floor of the Accords Hall. There is a sea of black in front of me. It reminds me of the cloud of demons coming into the city from Brocelind Forest.

I hear the conversations around me.

"It took at least an hour to get all the wards back up."

"All the bodies-"

"Valentine Morgenstern."

"Fire at the Gard."

Jace's face is suddenly in front of me; crinkled with worry. Our eyes lock together.

"Clary?"

I blink slowly.

"I have to get an _iratze_ on you, okay?"

I nod.

He moves to my arm, which is covered in red.

From a cut at my shoulder, I realize.

As he puts the tip of his stele to my skin, I put my hand on his wrist. I squeeze it. _I'm okay_, I want to tell him, but the words don't come out.

"I killed him," are the words to come out instead.

Jace smiles a little and nods. "It's over now."

I smile a little too. "What am I gonna do now? I don't have to run anymore…"

"I was thinking you could stay with me," Jace replies, his tone hesitant.

"Sounds pretty good to me."

His smile grows wider and he gets up off the ground. He stretches his hand towards me and helps pull me up.

When I'm standing up straight my vision wavers slightly, and Jace grabs a hold of my forearms to steady me.

"You okay?" he asks.

I nod. "Yeah, head rush."

I look around the Accords Hall. It's full of shadow-hunters. I search for my mom and Luke, for the Lightwoods, but I don't see them. I see Isabelle and Alec standing off to the side, looking just as worried as I feel.

Then the doors to the Accords Hall burst open. I see mom and Luke first and rip myself from Jace to run towards them, but then I stop in my tracks.

Behind them are Robert and Maryse; Robert holding a limp Max in his arms.

My hand flies to my mouth, meant to cover up words, but no words come.

I'm aware of them walking towards us, but I still stare at Max, willing him to move.

"Clary!" My mom's concerned voice rings in my ears. "What happened to you?"

"Valentine," I answer, not meeting her eyes. I watch Iz and Alec hovering over their little brother. Iz screams at him to wake up. Jace's hands are on her shoulders, trying to calm her down. Alec looks sick. "It's okay, I'm fine."

"Valentine? Wha-"

"It's okay," I repeat. "He's dead. He's in the fire at the Gard."

"Where's Consul Penhallow?" I hear Luke ask to no one.

"She's dead," I answer.

"And Inquisitor Aldertree?"

"Probably dead too."

I can't take their questions anymore. I make my way over to the Lightwoods. Jace looks up at me as I near them; his eyes full of water. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tightly. He presses his face against the crook of my shoulder.

"Max is gone."

Water starts to spill out of my own eyes and I don't know what to say. I don't know what could make it all better. So I just cry with him.

**A/N - you promised not to hate me, remember? **

**I thought long and hard about this chapter, in the end, this was about as perfect as I could get it. The next chapter will officially be the last, and then the Epilogue, which I'm writing as we speak! **

**Hope y'all are enjoying it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. **

**Like I said at the beginning, I do have another fic in the works, but I probably won't be able to work on it much until 2015, so it's still a while now. Since NaNoWriMo is coming up, I have to make my novel (Unsustainable) my first priority. For those wondering, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing month and challenges you to write the first draft of your novel, or 50,000 words in the 30 day month of November. My profile link is on my fanfiction profile if you'd like to add me as a buddy. **

**As well, I want to get an original short story up on my wattpad account before November. I will link that on my fanfiction profile as well!**

**Don't forget to review, love y'all! 3**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N - Alright y'all, here you go! This is the second last chapter... I'll talk more about the epilogue afterwards!**

**disclaimer: cassandra clare owns the mortal instruments, I just borrow it once and a while**

The next day is the day of the funerals for the fallen. Every shadow-hunter in Alicante wears white out of respect, but the families of the fallen wear it out of grief.

I'm not allowed to the Clave meeting that night, since I'm not a member of the Clave yet – not for a few more months. The meeting is being held in the Accords Hall since I destroyed the Gard the night before. I'm not sure that I would want to be at the meeting anyways, there are so many things that need to be worked out.

Alec and Jace didn't seem up to going, especially after this morning, but Robert and Maryse forced them to go as Mom and Luke watched with pity glimmering in their eyes.

Isabelle and I are forced to sit in the big house by ourselves, without Max, as everyone goes to the meeting.

You're not really supposed to be out and about while a Clave meeting is in session, but Iz and I decide we can't sit in the big house all by ourselves and sneak out to the training centre.

There's not really anyone to catch us on our way there, either, so we casually make our way there.

"It's not fair," Iz says suddenly. "Max deserved a life."

"I know," is all I can think of to reply.

"He didn't even get to do his next training test."

My chest tightens. "We're not supposed to think like that," I say. "They tell us that shadow-hunters are warriors and that we die as heroes. We're not supposed to grieve, but it happens anyways. From my experience, life just isn't fair and we have to deal with it."

"Clary Morgenstern, always so wise," Iz jokes.

"I'm serious, Iz! I like to think that I can handle anything, I like to act like I can handle anything, but I just can't. It's not fair, but I deal with it."

Iz is quiet for a moment before she says, "and to think, that at some point I wondered what you and Jace had in common."

It confuses me. I look at her and raise my eyebrow.

"You've changed a lot – both of you – since you got together. I'm glad you've got him, Clary."

I smile. "I'm pretty glad I've got him too."

The silence that follows makes me think. "Do you wish we had the chance to become _parabatai_?" I ask.

Iz seems startled by my sudden question. When she recovers she answers, "of course I do."

"I keep trying to think of a way that it could've happened, but every time it's an alternate universe where neither of us were ever born," I say.

She smirks. "Must be a pretty boring alternate universe then."

I laugh.

When we get to the training centre, we find every single room locked except one.

Iz walks in before me, and I basically crash into her as she stops right in the doorway.

"Simon!" she says. "Sorry, we can go…"

The boy from the other day is training inside. The boy that Iz got flustered over, and is once again. It takes everything not to smirk.

I peak out from behind Iz and Simon looks just as flustered.

"Hi Simon." I try to act annoyed. "By the Angel, I forgot my stele!"

Iz shoots me a look, but I ignore it.

"It's okay, I have mine if you need it…" Simon offers.

I start out the door. "No, I have this weird attachment to mine, I can't believe I left without it."

I can't tell if Iz is grateful or annoyed that I'm leaving, but she'll thank me for it one day.

When I'm back at the house I sit in the living room and wait for everyone to get home. The empty house reminds me of why Iz and I went to the training centre in the first place.

Eventually, the front door finally opens and everyone is home – except Iz, who is still off with Simon, I suppose. I expect everyone to come into the living room and discuss what took place at the meeting, but instead everyone goes their separate ways.

Mom and Luke are the only ones that come and sit in the living room with me. But the tension between Mom and I is still thick and I get up to find Jace.

"You don't want to talk to me at all?" she asks.

I pause.

"I know you're not happy with me," she continues, "but I want to be able to talk about this."

"It's not you, Mom. I'm sorry I made you feel like it was your fault." I look back and forth at her and Luke. "Valentine is gone now, I just want to be around family for once. Live normally…

While I was living in New York, that's what it felt like; I was part of a family again."

Mom sighs. "Well I can't promise that your life can ever be normal, and we still need to talk about a lot of things, but I can promise that you won't have to go without us or the Lightwoods."

"Wha-"

"Robert was elected the Inquisitor," Luke says, "and I, Consul."

Hope starts to fill me. I've never agreed with the Clave much, but maybe this might make a difference. I've known Luke my whole life; I'm positive he'll make a difference.

I smile wide. "So we all get to stay in Idris?"

Mom nods. "We're all staying in Idris."

Five minutes later I'm at Jace's bedroom door, knocking. It feels like days ago that I was holding onto his hand for dear life as Max's ashes blew away from us.

When I walk in, Jace sits on his bed with his head in his hands. I climb up and sit behind him, my forehead resting on his back.

"It's so depressing," he says. "His future was so _bright_ – the things that kid could've done are endless."

"Not anymore," I say.

His sigh is heavy and makes his body shake.

I wrap my arms around his torso.

"He didn't get the life he was supposed to have," Jace mumbles.

"It's better to remember than forget," I say. "We can't forget that he should've had a life."

"If Valentine wasn't already dead, I'd cut him up into little pieces, I'd do it slowly to make him suffer. I'm just not sure if he'd be able to feel the same amount of pain that we have for losing Max. The pain that I feel every day since I lost my parents."

"I know," I say quietly. "Just don't forget about the living. Don't forget about me."

He finally lifts his head and turns to look at me. "I could never."

"We'll get through it. I promise we'll get through it."

"How?"

I shrug. "We're shadow-hunters. We don't have another choice."

Jace closes the small space between us and presses his lips to mine. He presses until I fall back against the pillows and his body is flat against mine. My hands slide against the smooth, muscular skin of his back and his tickle the bare skin exposed by my rising shirt.

Jace's lips leave mine and I tilt my head back as they move to my jaw and trail down my neck to my collarbone.

He pulls away then and rests his forehead against mine. "I love you," he whispers. "You know I love you."

I flatten my palms against his jaw. "I know. I love you, too."

**A/N- short, right? I know, I just figured the last chapter should be full of closure. **

**As for the epilogue, I haven't finished writing it quite yet. I want it to be short of long and as perfect as I can get it. I'll tell you that it takes place five years in the future and is full of Clace. It also inspired another fan fic I've begun outlining that I probably won't begin writing until the new year, but it's something to look out for.**

**Thanks for all of your love for this story, because without you, it might have never been finished! Stay tuned for the epilogue! **


	16. Epilogue

**A/N - this first thing I want to mention is that I hope you're all doing well. If you haven't yet today, go hug someone you love for me. As some may know, there was a shooting in Ottawa. It's not something I've ever really been affected by, but a man who died, Corporal Nathan Cirillo****'s death hit close to home and I'm extremely upset about this loss of a one of our Canadian soldiers.**

**Anyways, this is the last of this story and I'm so happy I got to share it with you all! More about upcoming projects/updates after the chapter.**

**disclaimer: cassandra clare owns the shadowhunter world, I just borrow it. **

5 years later, Jace and I are married, Isabelle and Simon are engaged. Alec is getting ready to take over the New York Institute and met a warlock named Magnus Bane... they're complicated.

When we decided to have a child, we weren't exactly expecting twins. One boy and one girl. Everyday closer to the due date has made us excited and anxious all at the same time.

We normally live in Alicante, but when I found out that having twins means the due date isn't accurate, I wanted to have them in a more modern environment. I love living in Idris, but no cars, cell phones, and modern hospitals doesn't exactly make me feel taken care of.

I remember the day we found out about the twins. Tears streaming down my face as well as Jace's, and then the aftermath back at home.

I woke up from a nap on the couch to find Jace pacing the living rom in front of me.

"Jace?"

He started, not expecting me to wake up.

"What's wrong?"

His brows furrowed together and he promptly sat next to me on the couch. "Are we sure we can handle twins? I mean we decided we were ready for one... but two?" He woudn't meet my eyes.

"Jace," I sighed. "Of course we're not ready for two. But we have months to _be_ ready."

He nodded, finally meeting my eyes and I reached up to cradle his face as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"There's no one else I'd rather to this with then _you_." Tears sprung in my eyes. I blame it on the hormones. "I love you and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I know you'll be the best father to them. I couldn't ask for anyone more amazing."

His hands moved from my waist to my stomach. The slightest bump wass showing already. "I'd do anything for you, Clary, and you'll be the best _mother_ to our children." He leaned in and kissed me softly. "Thank you."

I wake up to cramps that I recognize as contractions. We went to bed hours ago, and I felt them hours apart from each other before, but this is the first they've been somewhat painful. I count in my head, attempting to time it. It lasts forty seconds.

I reach over to where Jace is sleeping soundly beside me and shake his shoulder. I whisper his name and his eyes open slowly.

"What is it, Clary?" he asks, his voice thick from sleep.

"Contractions."

He bolts upright and I would laugh at how anxious he seems if I weren't so nervous myself.

"Should I get stuff together? Should we go to the hospital now?"

I shake my head. "Not until they last for sixty seconds."

"How much is it now?"

"Forty."

He gets up anyways and grabs the bags we've already had packed for weeks. Our doctor told us twins can be sketchy so we've been prepared for a while.

Three hours later I'm lying in a hospital bed, waiting for someone to stick a needle in my back. Another contraction comes on and I squeeze Jace's hand, trying not to cry. I feel his other hand against my face, brushing my closed eyelid.

"You're doing great Clary," he says quietly.

After the contraction passes, I laugh. "Worried I was gonna tell you I'm never having sex with you again?"

He smirks. "Something like that." Then leans over and kisses my forehead.

"You're good at this, you know," I tell him. "If you're freaking out, I really can't tell."

"Oh trust me, I'm freaking out."

Our doctor and a nurse walk in then. "You ready for the epidural?" the doctor asks.

My body's response is apparently another contraction.

Jace is great the whole way through. Letting me squeeze his hand tightly, even if it hurts him. He whispers reassurance in my ear as the doctors tell me to keep pushing.

The epidural makes it easier, but it's still a lot of work.

Mom was really mad right before I was ready to push, because they only wanted one other person in the room with me.

"I gave birth to her!" I hear her tell our doctor. "I should be able to help her give birth!"

I shake my head, and Jace is trying not to laugh next to me.

"We will call you in as soon as we can," our doctor told her calmly. "You'll be the first ."

I speak up. "Mom, it's fine. I'll be okay."

The first of the twins takes a while to push, but the second only waits ten minutes and is out easily.

Once they're both clean and the doctors hand them to me all swaddled. Tears are streaming down my face and my hands start to shake a little. Jace leans over me and I take my eyes off the twins for a second to see tears in his eyes as he stares at them in utter adoration.

"I'm so proud of you, Clary." We peck quickly, as if we can't take our eyes off them for a second.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." He sighs. "By the angel, we did this… _you_ did this."

I nod. "They're beautiful."

"Cecily and Max."

The doctor's let my mother back in just five minutes later, knowing she was anxious and having room for her. But they don't let the rest of the family in for another hour.

Both Cecily and Max have blue eyes. But, as Mom pointed, most babies eye colours will change. Jace is betting on his eye colour, I'm betting on mine. As for hair, they both have strawberry-blonde tuffs.

"Maybe we'll have to try again to get the Fairchild red," Jace says with a smirk.

I shake my head slowly. "No way," I sigh and look down at Max sleeping soundly in my arms. Cecily rests in Jace's arms, who sits in a chair beside me.

He laughs quietly.

I'm exhausted and sore as the door bursts open and Iz comes bounding through. "Where are my niece and nephew?!" she shouts.

Jace shoots her a sharp look.

"Sorry!" she says quietly.

The next through the door is Luke, who sits at the chair across my bed from Jace. He looks down at Max. "So, who are the little rascals?"

"This is Maxwell James Herondale."

"And Cecily Isabelle Herondale," Jace finishes.

Iz squeals.

"Well I'm a little offended," says Alec, nudging his _parabatai_ with an elbow.

"We thought we might leave it for the next one…" he trails off when he sees my horrified expression. "Or Iz and Simon can have it."

Iz turns red and Simon tightens his arm around her. Then she looks at Max. "It's too bad Mom and Dad couldn't come; they're too busy in Idris... Max would've loved him," she says, her voice thick. "Can I hold him?"

I nod. "Of course." As I hand him off I mutter things like, "careful-" "support his head-"

Iz shrugs me off. "It's like you think I've never held a baby before." She looks down lovingly. "This kid is gonna be such a daddy's boy."

Alec laughs. "Don't be too sure, Cecily's already got Jace's finger in her mouth."

"Hey," I scold. "_Who_ did all the work today?"

Luke puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple. "They're gonna love you," he says.

"You two will be wonderful parents," Mom says.

Jace shifts Cecily's weight to have a free hand to reach over and squeeze mine, and I fall asleep for the first time in a while.

**A/N - Hope you've all enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it, and thank you so much for all of your support. To be honest, I can't wait to mark it as "complete" and not have to worry about it anymore since I have other project I want to focus on. **

**Remember when I told you I had another TMI fic that I'm currently outlining? I found an idea I got a while back and now I can't decide which I want to work on next. However, in the end, I probably won't start writing it until the new year. **

**Since this is done, I'm moving onto revising/editing a short story going up on my wattpad, hopefully before November. (link on my profile)**

**As well, I need to finish my outline for my NaNoWriMo novel! (add me as a buddy - link on my profile!)**

**So basically, you're not getting rid of me. I promise if I have any one-shot ideas, they'll be up soon. Make sure to follow me so you know when that happens! **

**Love you all! Don't forget to hug someone you love for me! It's important to love each other! **

**And I love you! Thanks for all your kind words and such, and let me know if you ever come back to re-read We Could Love. **

**3**


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